Brother and Sisters

They just can’t stay away from each other. I’ve had to separate, scold, and yell (from the computer, like I’d get up and actually go in to the living room) at my two youngest children. The 16 months and one school grade that separate them mean nothing at home. They are inseparable, yet like fire and water all at the same time.

My oldest stayed with her cousin for the night after the big snowboarding day. Without their older sister here there is no tag teaming against the odd boy-girl out, it’s just the two of them. They typically do great together, the majority of their screams and noises are in fun.

After several “smacks”, pinching incidents, and jumping “on” or being jumped “on” by each other, a full 20 minutes of seclusion on different couches, and all sorts of unenforceable threats by me, they are back at it. They can jump from absolute hatred of each other back to infectious laughter followed by cooperation and no recollection of whatever egregious acts had just previously occurred, all in about 5 minutes. It’s the cycles that drive me insane...


Our snowboarding trip went well overall even though the kids pooped out pretty early. I got to have one good high speed run with my oldest child on the non-kiddy hill. Most of the rest of the day was spent with my snowboard leaned up against the rack and me holding onto my son’s jacket as he snow plowed down the hill. He is just too distracted to really put any real effort into skiing right now. As people passed by, wrecked, or just waving to various people on the chair lift, I struggled to focus his attention back to the pizza-shaped snowplow he was supposed to making.

That’s okay, he is still interested and we have lots of time. I think the next trip will be an older kid (“kids” if my nephew gets word of it) and myself trip only. That way I can get a little more boarding in myself I suppose too.

Fej

Taking Collections for Snowboarding

We have become way too used to vacation. My oldest daughter woke me up at 10:30 this morning. We did stay up pretty late watching a Jimmy Neutron movie but I didn’t expect to sleep in that long. I barely pulled the younger two out of bed just before lunch.

My leisurely mid-morning was cut short from a bill collector. They weren’t looking for me, but for my wife or her ex-roommate. Not knowing the nature of the call I mentioned I was her husband. Mistake? The story behind this happened about a year ago, a good while before I started blogging.

I’ll try to keep this short. My wife first met D while in a short-term mental health facility. He was a nice enough guy who was also BI-polar and down on his luck. They kept in contact afterwards, one thing led to another (I’m obviously leaving a lot out here), and a couple months later they were living in an apartment together.

Around Christmas last year, my wife decided that D wasn’t the best influence in her life, they were to remain friends but they both moved out of the apartment. I was mistakenly under the impression that the landlord released them from the lease voluntarily to help them out. Apparently that was not the case.

She had mentioned to me a while back that the apartments were trying to get the remainder of the lease out of them. They can just forget trying to get any money out of D, but my wife and I are still legally married, our names share a lot of accounts, credit reports, etc. Legal action was the next choice so I decided to just pay the damn bill. Just short of $1000, merry Christmas, happy birthday, whatever.

To make matters worse, due to a lot of fraudulent acts, they don’t just take credit card numbers over the phone. You need to fax a written and signed statement allowing them to use your card and all that crap. I could have used Retro Girl’s new fax printer machine today, that would have saved me the trip and $2.12 to send one page!?


Snowboarding

We rented the kids some equipment this afternoon and tomorrow morning we head off to the hills again. Minus ski school and my youngest daughter bailing out at the last minute, it won’t cost nearly as much this time, a definite plus.

No sleeping in late tomorrow, I better nip this blogging thing in the bud (what the heck does "nip it in the bud" mean anyway?) and get to bed early.

Fej

Days of the Week

My youngest child, my son, has been plaguing me with questions this week:

“Dad?”

“Yes son.”

“Is tomorrow a school day?”

“No.”

“So it’s a weekend?”

“No, tomorrow is Monday (Tuesday, Wednesday, we’ve had this discussion all week).”

He then reasons, “Then it’s a week day, so we have school.”

“No. Well yes, tomorrow is a weekday, but there is no school. It’s Christmas vacation.”

Now, getting audibly upset, “But on weekday’s we have school dad. I don’t want to do my homework dad!!”

He’s practically crying and not helping at all are his two older sisters whom are laughing hysterically, not with him, directly at him.

He was perfectly content when Saturday’s were indistinguishable from Tuesday’s. He’s really good with the black and white stuff, don’t go gray on him though, he doesn’t deal with it very well.

Fej

Enjoying Vacation...

We all slept in really late again. My mom called to remind me that her and my grandfather would be coming by this morning, between 11:00 and 11:30. Crap! I only had like half-an-hour... No, my stupid alarm clock was an hour ahead for whatever reason.

I leisurely started picking up and just as I was about to start vacuuming came the pounding on my door. Mom! It’s 10:30! Oh well, they probably would have been more surprised to see the house clean than in the state it was in.

The kids and I did a little shopping around for various items. One of our stops was at Hobby Lobby, a Wal-Mart sized arts and crafts store. I found quite a few things I wanted to buy, cool projects for the kids, house stuff etc. I brought back a Chinese painting rolled up nicely on a trip sometime back. It’s really nice and big. I spent about $12 on the painting and it’s going to cost at least $150 to get it framed. Back in the closet you go... I spent a whopping $0.16 on a straw for my son’s RC car antennae, that has to be a record of some sort.

We stopped at my parent’s house to see off my grandfather as he is leaving for Houston tomorrow. I dropped my kids off at their mom’s which makes two nights this week so far. I had an indoor soccer game at 10:00 PM, which is just wrong.


On Sunday, when everyone started learning the news about the Tsunami in Asia, I reflected on how lucky we are not to be anywhere near that area. A good friend of mine had vacationed at a beach side resort in Thailand just last year. Two uncles from my mother's side traveled and lived in the area for years at a time.

Shit. At my parent’s tonight, I learned that my Aunt, Uncle, and two daughters from my father's side, who live in Singapore (uniquely protected from events like Tsunami’s and Typhoons) were vacationing in India for Christmas. No one had their itinerary, and no one has heard a word from them either. Hopefully they are all okay.

Update

While it doesn’t reduce the severity of the tragedy in Asia, my own family can rest a little better now. My Aunt, Uncle and family were vacationing in Northern India and are fine.

Fej

Meeting Times, Books, and odd meetings at the Grocery Store

I slept in much of the day. Actually no. I tossed and turned from about 5:00 AM until 8:00 ish. From then on I slept quite soundly. Oddly what woke me up was my nephew calling from his mother’s mobile phone (without her consent) to ask that if we go snowboarding again, to please, please, let him go with us.

I tried to go back to sleep and succeeded without any problem. Whatever woke me up also happened to make me aware of the time. It was nearly 10:00 AM. I got up, fed the cats, myself, and jumped on my PC.

Not much going on except for a lot of nice comments and even some from some new folks, which I always like. I spent the rest of the morning trying to finish up the John Adams Biography I had been reading forever. I was anxious to start the new George Washington Biography I got for Christmas. My dog and I enjoyed a leisurely morning together. I called my wife and she sounded fine with me coming to get the kids at around 1:00 PM.

I tried letting her know that I was on my way, but no one answered. No biggie, that’s not that unusual. When I pulled into her apartment though, her car wasn’t there. I called her cell phone and finally got a hold of her. They were at the guitar shop of course and were planning on having lunch shortly. Well, of course, I should have figured that my 1:00 ish appointment meant nothing really.

I joined them for lunch and then the kids and I came home. We lounged, played, tormented siblings, and I finished my book. I decide to make a quick trip to the store.

As I was leaving, a very pretty woman waved as she drove by. Then I noticed it was my wife’s ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife. I returned the shopping cart to the appropriate bin (I don’t hate, but slightly loathe all those who just discard their carts randomly). This gave her enough time to park and walk right past me as I entered my vehicle. It seemed deliberate, while our past encounters seemed to have occured quite by accident and awkward.

She asked how I was doing, I replied and asked the same of her. Then she “flipped” her rather nice hair as she walked by, it could have been because she was going to work, it could have been to make me notice. Either way, I jumped into my vehicle. As I was about to pull out of my space, I noticed another woman across the lot, seemed familiar, yes, it was my wife. She and her friend from the latest installment of my soap opera life were going to the store together. I thought she noticed me but she, nor I, made any attempt to acknowledge the other as they walked in. It's just as likely, probably more so, that she didn't see me at all.

The timing of it all was uncanny, to say the least.

I went home and the kids continued to destroy and dismantle our home as I helplessly stood by, and then fixed them dinner also.

Fej

Kids Make Messes, duh.

Tonight, when I dropped my kids off at my wife’s apartment, she said, “it’s like they just threw up everywhere, instantly!”

I didn’t notice immediately, but I suppose they did settle in rather quickly. My oldest had DVD’s, Playstation, and Game Cube discs strewn everywhere as I left her bedroom. The younger two were quickly spreading out activities and toys in the living room as I walked to the door. My wife’s friend was asking whether I planned on keeping my beard just as I was leaving when my wife made the exasperated comment above. We hadn’t been there more than 5 minutes...

As I entered my house afterwards, I noticed an hour later than nothing had changed. Holy crow, without my kids there, nothing in my home moved without my consent! Incredible! Not.

So, just how long had my wife been “gone” before she actually moved out of our house? I’m thinking years...many many years.

Fej

Winding Down

It’s day nine of my vacation. Once again this year I have decided to embark on some sort of facial hair experimentation. Instead of shaving it all off, I’m once again trying the full beard. This time though, it’s a more neatly trimmed version.

It still itches so freaking bad. I’m determined to hang in there and at least wait until this weekend to shave it off. This way I can at least say that I tried for a new look, and failed once again.

The sounds of an electric guitar and a rather modest amplifier are not as bad as I had pictured. Actually, my oldest daughter’s random strumming sounds much better on the electric guitar than they did on her acoustic. The tuner I bought is really cool too.

My son’s Transformers that I purchased are becoming slightly less difficult each time I transform them. Holy cow, we should get the engineers over at Hasbro transferred over to NASA and in a hurry. These are some complicated little pieces of plastic.

I have a night to myself. I don’t want to fix anymore faucets or recently repaired washing machines. I fixed the faucet at least. Stupid washing machine.

Fej

Christmas

Christmas Eve

We had my parent’s ex-neighbor’s Christmas Eve party to go to. Everyone has since moved to other homes but they still have a party every year. I grew up with their daughters. Last year, their mother had suggested that her younger daughter and I get together since my marriage was dissolving. This year, I was thinking we should, she looked pretty amazing. She’s a glass blowing artist from the northwest and has always been a bit wild. This year she cut off her dreadlocks and while still in vintage dress, this year’s was very sexy.

After that party we briefly stopped by my sister’s and then went on to my mother-in-laws home. She lives with my sister-in-law and boyfriend. My wife showed up on time and we began waiting until midnight to open presents. In the mean time my soon to be brother-in-law was making us Bloody Mary’s. He just kept grabbing my glass and refilling as needed. They seemed strong, but I thought it might just be the mix since I hadn’t tried it before.

The kids were bouncing off the walls, so I suggested we have a CST Christmas instead of MST. Everyone agreed and the presents were torn into. I got some nice shirts and the kids did pretty well also. At the end of the night my wife convinced my youngest daughter to stay with her at the apartment. I reminded her to be at our house early for the “Santa” gifts. When I got home I managed to set out cookies and milk and the unwrapped “Santa” gifts. I don’t remember all of it thanks to the never ending Bloody Mary’s but it all got done.

Christmas Morning

It was instantly morning and I called my wife to wake her up at 6:30 AM. She answered I and asked her to get over here soon. I called again at 7:00, 7:15, 7:45, many more times with no one answering. By this time, my other two had already began playing with their gifts. I get up and ready, we pack the car with all the gifts and sit around waiting. Finally, she calls at 8:30 “they are on their way.” I call to check on her at 9:00 and she answers, “we’re leaving now.” We are supposed to be at my parent’s no later than 10:00 and it takes a half-hour to get to their house. It’s not even 10 minutes to her apartment from my house. She finally shows at 9:30, I’m livid, luckily only my wife notices. My daughter grabs her Santa gift and we’re out the door.

Nope, I’m back in the door grabbing something to clean up the entire-can-of-last-night’s-soda spill in the car.

We finally make it to my parent’s house, now I can relax, it’s Christmas after all. Then my Dad asks, “Where is Grampie?”

I forgot to pick up my Grandfather. Who lives about 5 minutes from my house. Those Bloody Mary’s are really starting to hurt about now, but another 45 minutes on the road and we are all back at my parent’s house.

In a half-hour, none of this morning’s adventures mattered, we all had a wonderful Christmas Day.

I hope everyone else has a wonderful holiday too.

Fej

Santa ate waaaayyy too much.

Man, I ate a lot tonight. I have this odd condition where if I eat too much my left shoulder hurts. Tonight we went out to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants and I ate until I knew it was too late: I’d be suffering left shoulder pain badly tonight.

I wrapped a significant portion of the presents today and I need to finish the clandestine gifts for my children tonight as well. How in the heck do you wrap an electric guitar? Simple, you don’t. Santa leaves presents like that out so they can come across them first thing in the morning.

You know, I, uh... despite me putting the bikes together, leaving the gifts out, eating the cookies and milk (deliberately leaving an abnormal amount of crumbs, for evidence of course) I well, it’s weird I suppose, but I think I still believe in Santa Clause. Okay, no. I’d be outside with my shotgun if some moron landed a sleigh on my roof, but what I mean is the Christmas spirit. Even if it’s only for a few days a year, I think it’s great that everyone comes together and reflects on what is important.

Happy Holidays to everyone.

Fej

Greek Food is Good

I finished my Christmas shopping!!!!

I had to skip some people on my list in order to actually accomplish this but either way I’m finished right?

Only kidding of course. My parents called to say we were invited out to dinner with them and a bunch of relatives and friends. They wanted to try a Greek restaurant. I hadn’t eaten Greek in a long time but it sounded fun.

When I told my kids about dinner, they were happy to hear we would be going out. Then my oldest daughter commented, “I wish we weren’t going to a Greek restaurant though.” As if we would all just change our minds and go to McDonalds instead?

Sounding sincerely interested I asked, ”What Greek foods are you familiar with?”

“What do you mean?” She says.

“Can you actually name any Greek food?”

“Ummm...no.”

“Then I guess if you can’t name any Greek foods, then you can’t say that you don’t like any Greek foods either...am I right?”

(Insert sweet, beautiful silence of an 11-year-old with her foot in her mouth, here.)

She is getting older, smarter and wise to most of my tricks. I nailed her on this one though. They even liked the food too.

Fej

Gift Wrapping, for Men

I wish I could give credit to the true author of this, it's just something I received via email several years ago. I re-send it out every year because it's soooo appropriate.

Anyway, if the author comes across this, I just want to share your brilliance with everyone who happens to read my blog.



Here it is:

It is the time of year when we think back to the very first
Christmas, when the Three Wise Men -- Gaspar, Balthasar and Herb --
went to see the baby Jesus, and, according to the Book of Matthew,
"presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover
an important, yet often-overlooked, theological fact: There is no
mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so:

"And lo, the gifts WERE inside 600 square cubits of paper."

"And the paper WAS festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman."

"And Joseph WAS going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him,
she saideth, `Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next
year!"

"And Joseph DID rolleth his eyeballs."

"And the baby Jesus WAS more interested in the paper than, for
example, the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very
first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people
giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.
2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of
putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is
not just my opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical
survey of two guys I know. One is my son, Collin, who said the only
time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, "it's such a poor gift that I
don't want to be there when the person opens it." The other is my
friend Brian, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of
principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had
to wonder which presents I wrapped at Christmas," Brian said. "They
were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I
can never COMPLETELY wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck
of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the
size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and
taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes
I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient
Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body
would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my mom a 12-inch square of wrapping
paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My mom, like many women,
actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires
batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very
close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my
mom would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills -- like having
babies -- that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why
today I am presenting:

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN

Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the
recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can
claim that it's myrrh.

The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to
make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple
sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring
and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just
put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it.
This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky
recipient on Christmas morning: YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash
bag under the tree?
YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!
YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time
of year, is that you save the receipt.

Hot Cats, Cashiers

I started this morning off by briefly setting one of my cats on fire.

Cat Lovers:

It was an accident, way funny, but still an accident. This cat has attention issues. She is constantly trying to get me to pet her always while on the counter, either in the kitchen or bathroom. She purposely sits on the top of couches and tables just to reach out a swat at me as I pass by. If I am able to pet her it’s only briefly because suddenly she will change her mind and bite me. Right now, her singed butt is perched right on top of the monitor as I type, she is obviously over it.

Now that you have a little background, she was stepping all around me on the kitchen counter while I was trying to make breakfast. I usually try to ignore her and continue on. She was sitting right next to the gas stove as I lit it up, and her left side lit right up too. I swatted at her trying to put it out and she dove off the counter. That was enough to extinguish the flame.



I spent a lot of time and money at the dealership today for some overdue routine maintenance. What is it lately with pretty smiling cashiers? She walked by several times and each time I received big friendly hellos. No one else got that kind of attention in the waiting room so I was just a bit nervous by the time I had to pay my bill. Everything went fine and then I got a very nice handshake. That’s when I noticed the big rock on her ring finger with wedding band to boot. That through me all off and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Fej

Just another.... whoa I'm on vacation!

We barely scraped everyone out of bed this morning after yesterday’s big ski trip. We were burning rubber to get my oldest to school on time (for me that means going 5-10 mph above the speed limit, woo hoo). I think she just made it. I then got the two psycho children off to their school and I started heading for work.

Whoa!! I swerved into the right lane and turned quickly. That would have so sucked if I forgot I was on vacation and actually went to work. I went to return my daughter’s snowboard equipment and then stopped by a home audio shop to drool over what I want to buy myself for Christmas. What I had planned on buying has now been upgraded about two-fold in price. Someday I will have more than two speakers and when I do, I won’t need to upgrade my receiver! Ha!

I’m such a sucker, but once I get my mind stuck on something it’s hard to sway me.

I went back home and had lunch. Finally I got a hold of the carwash guy, he wanted to meet me at 12:30 with a check. Yeeaaah!! We met, I signed a release form, and got a check for $780! Yes, I’ll probably use this to help with Christmas. But I am going to get that dent fixed. It’s driving my nuts and sticks out like a sore thumb. My brother-in-law’s cousin has a body shop though...

WTH??!! (What the heck) There is bubble gum flavored toothpaste on the rim of my wineglass (wine cup whatever, nothing fancy here). First of all, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet, and those who have are 11 and under, and I don’t use Sponge Bob Bubble gum flavored toothpaste either way. Stinking kids, I’ll bet that’s the last time they drink from Dad’s water glass.

I bought the electric guitar my oldest has been dying for today. So much for shopping early, (okay, five days before Xmas is early for me) it didn’t pay off. All of the guitar/amp/ready to go packages were gone. Luckily they put one together for me and we probably got a better deal this way too. The amp is definitely better and has the all-important "headphone jack", she is still learning you see.

I also shopped for a few toys at Target. Wow, it did take a while to find a parking space, that place was packed. After I found a few gifts I was 2nd in the check out line and out of there in a flash. I love Target about as much as I hate Wal-Mart and I reeeeeeaaaaaally hate Wal-Mart.

Fej

The Big Trip

What a day. I some how pulled my sorry as* out of bed just shortly after 6 AM. The kids popped out of bed pretty easily, I guess the lure of a mountain ski/snowboard trip was pretty powerful. We left on time as I insisted but still just barely made it to the ski school in time.

I was harassed with “are we there yet?” for a good portion of the 90-minute drive. I finally told them that if we are going up a mountain and you see snow then we must be close. That worked and then suddenly we were there. An hour after that, my two little ones were checked into “Chipmunk” ski school and another hour after that and we had lift tickets and a board and boots for my nephew. The cashier was pretty and had a wonderful smile.

Then the real fun began. My oldest daughter was on her third trip so she did pretty well. This was my nephew’s first trip and snowboarding isn’t the easiest thing to pick up. He did great. He has a tendency to give up easily and we did have a few close calls. Just before lunch I decided that walking the rest of the way down was the best alternative. He was wet and cold. Flipping head over heals dunking your head into the snow every 30 feet or so tends to take a toll on a person eventually.

I have to give him a lot of credit though, by the end of the day he was going up the lift, getting off the lift (ever try this with only one foot strapped into a snowboard?), strapping himself in, and making it down the mountain. He was still tumbling head over heels every so often, but he jumped right back up and tried again.

Then again, it could just be the trainer...:)

As for the little two, I checked in on them at lunchtime. They had the unhappy daycare look in their eyes and all but begged me to pull them out. I resisted, gave them as much positive reinforcement as I could and slipped out quickly. That was tough. I spent the rest of the afternoon stressing about how they were doing. My nephew was ready (mostly) to go on his own. My daughter and I were itching to go down a real hill. We did the big lift together. She struggled a bit, but this was only her third time snowboarding and her first time this year.

I went straight for the ski school after that and found my middle child inside and ready to leave. She hadn’t actually given up but upon seeing me, she was done. I did have the chance to see her go down the kiddy hill once and she did fine. They run a great kid program there. I pulled her out early and went back to check on the older two. My nephew was suddenly quite the diehard, going time and time again on his own.

I eventually picked up my youngest son once the school was complete and also after watching him pull a nice wedge down the kiddy hill.

After checking in my nephew’s board and boots, the same pretty cashier was there to return my deposit. We didn’t damage the rental equipment, but I honestly don’t think that was what made her smile like that. Or maybe that’s just what I thought.

All in all, it was a great day. I would normally cry like a baby after dropping that kind of cash but with all the bragging, arguing about who was better, and stories of who had the best crash, that made it all worth while. I never even had a chance to go fast enough and really feel the wind against my face except when I thought I saw my nephew go into the trees... I guess this trip wasn’t for me though.

Fej

Eating Tamales While Snowboarding with a Hoard of Kids

I had a party to go to today. I also had to do some shopping for skiing supplies. Yes, the nutcase that I am, I’m taking all of my children and my nephew on a skiing/snowboarding adventure tomorrow. That is 4 children under the age of 11 and myself.

It was originally to be just my three kids and myself. I had my sister watch my kids while I was at the Tamale making party this afternoon and then I watched my niece and nephew this evening while they went out. My kids couldn’t stop mouthing off about our snow adventure tomorrow and my nephew just about blew a gasket. We were able to round up enough gear to outfit him properly so now it’s a party of five.

I must be insane. If not, I’m sure I will be by tomorrow afternoon. Broke also by the way, what a damn expensive sport this is.

Today was the long awaited Tamale making party at my good friend Lil’s house. This is the first year I have been able to go, but it sounds like it’s been pretty wild over the years. I was not able to leave my mark this year, as I had to get the kids. They came over for a while but couldn’t hang while we drank and made holiday food.

Last night was our somewhat traditional take our boss out to dinner night. I haven’t had a date for the last two years and it had been kind of weird. At the last minute I allowed my son to come with me since he had decided that he wanted to be nowhere else but with me. My six-year-old son was my date for the evening. He only fell out of his chair once and managed to eat quite a bit of dessert. All this without any alcohol, hmmm... maybe I should bring my kids out to these events more often.

Fej

List of Stuff

I found that I was supposed to do this at Retro Girl's and so I have.

Three names you go by:
1. Fej
2. Dad
3. Jeff

Three screen names you have:
1. franjef
2. fej258cj7
3. As if the 2nd one isn’t cryptic enough, I don’t need a 3rd.

Three things you like about yourself:
1. I’m dependable.
2. I’m trustworthy.
3. I know longer do anything I’ll regret right away, later maybe but not right away.

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. Empathetic to a fault.
2. Too trusting.
3. A little slow on the social up take.

Three parts of your heritage:
1. American
2. Relatives who came over on the Mayflower
3. Any further back and does it really freaking matter?

Three things that scare you:
1. My kids.
2. Being away from my kids.
3. What kind of people my kids will turn into.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Waking up, it’s not a guarantee you know.
2. Feeling like I accomplished something.
3. Going to sleep.

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. My watch.
2. Socks.
3. Okay, if that wasn’t enough to turn you on, I’m fully clothed too.

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
1. Chevelle
2. Korn
2. Allen Jackson

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. Some Beach – Blake Shelton
2. Aerials – System of a Down
3. Shoots and Ladders - Korn

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Relaxing, when I’m not at work.
2. A date.
3. Watching a few movies.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Trust.
2. Understanding.
3. Friendship.

Two truths and a lie:
1. My left shoulder hurts when I eat too much.
2. I’ve never intentionally killed another living creature in my life.
3. I can read text backward faster than forward.

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. Innocence.
2. Intelligence.
3. Not pulling, but making me want to get out of this hole.

Three things you just can’t do:
1. Say no.
2. Get enough sleep.
3. Play basketball.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. My kids.
2. Playing soccer.
3. This stupid blogging addiction.

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Go to bed without feeling like there is still something else that needs to be done.
2. Get in bed next to someone other than a cat, another cat, my dog or my 6 year-old son.
3. Talk to someone, freely and without reservation.

Three careers you’re considering:
1. Continuing with engineering.
2. Analyst.
3. Writing. (insert ridiculous laughter and calls from bill collectors here)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Australia
2. Greece
3. Rome

Three kids names: for either a boy or girl:
1. Lauren
2. Alicia
3. Colin

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Watch my children grow older.
2. Be president.
3. Pay my student loans off.

Three people who have to take this quiz now:
1. Diva
2. Robyn She won't but you should read her blog anyway.
3. You!

Sponge Bob, Drinks, and Dating

I just admitted, albeit anonymously in a poll, that the only television show I watch on a daily basis is Sponge Bob. Realizing your life has come to this point might just make you stop and reflect on just how the heck you got there.

Not me, I’m in denial. I watch plenty of other programs too. There’s uh, Fairly Odd Parents, Winnie the Poo and Friends, ummm... I know there is more, Yu Gi Oh(?). And yes! I watched a couple hours worth of the History Channel and even a few minutes of a NFL game last Sunday. Granted that’s the first time in a few months but it shows I haven’t completely given up, yet.

I’ll save you the suspense: I don’t watch a whole lot of TV that isn’t animated. And what I do watch is in passing or just while doing dishes, making dinner, picking up the living room, etc.

My wife had the kids over tonight. There I was at work not knowing what the heck to do with a night off. Since I had fixed the washing machine, all other pressing matters were rather minimal. I wanted to go out but with who and where and it was Thursday, and Friday and Saturday were going to be big party/drinking nights already. My good friend somehow sensed my lack of need to be somewhere so we went out for a drink. The girl I have been out with on a few occasions recently also came along but she couldn’t stay out late. We didn’t stay out that late anyway and only had a couple drinks.

We talked a lot about dating tonight. I had very little to say. It’s been nearly 13 years since I’ve been on a date (with someone I wasn’t married to) and I was a teenager at the time to boot. I want to. I don’t know how to go about it unless it jumps in my lap and my cats don’t count. I’d lie outright about dating to my kids, I just couldn’t deal with that right now.

“That’s not lipstick, it just uh... marker, no sharpie! Yes, I dropped a marker and it bounced and ... hit my neck... yup that’s how it happened.”

"Now go to bed."

Nope, I don’t think I’m ready.

Fej

Washing Machine Game

Washing machine water pump – 1,978

Me – 1

Despite the lopsided score I managed to pull off a miracle victory in the end. Using a hammer, two breaker bars, several large screw drivers, a blow dryer, rust remover, a razor blade (it broke), a sharp knife, and finally a hacksaw I was able to remove the old pump from the motor shaft. Are we talking about a metal pump that rusted to a metal shaft? That might seem to justify the aformentioned arsenal.

No, we are talking about a plastic pump on a metal shaft. After the screwdrivers, breaker bars, rust remover and blow dryer (don’t laugh, I though heating it up might help) failed, I bashed it into little pieces with a hammer. Then I cut the rest of it off using the knife and hacksaw. The bashing part felt sooooo good.

I filed off most of the rust and corrosion from the motor shaft and hammered on the new pump. There weren't all that many left over parts afterwards either.

That is what has kept me from posting like I normally do every night. This little project started on Sunday afternoon, it’s Wednesday night. I'm doing laundry though and it's no longer leaking. I hate inanimate objects and they hate me right back.

Fej

Conflicts of Discipline

Experiencing a powerful sneeze while eating your Grape Nuts will set your morning back by ten minutes minimum.

Relatives were in town yesterday so we all went out to dinner. I wasn’t at all hoping my wife would want to go when I offered, but she did. It wasn’t that bad. During the ride over (she didn’t want to drive herself) my son was smacked in the head with a pen. The probable suspect was his 7-year-old sister but she claimed he had it coming. Truth be told that was probably true. A large (loud) debate ensued as to whether or not he really did deserve the pen smack.

Poor guy got absolutely no sympathy from his sisters. I felt for him even though it was a desperate lie. Then my wife pitched in and said, “Just hit her back, see how she likes it.”

I knew that was a big mistake. He was still worked up over no one believing his story of innocence when he finally decided to cash in his get out of trouble card from mom, a couple minutes later. He pounded his sister in the head pretty hard. She started crying but stopped rather quickly as I (probably swerving radically) yelled at the top of my lungs, “NO ONE HITS BACK! IF YOU GET HIT, TELL ME OR YOUR MOTHER, WE’LL TAKE CARE OF IT!”

No one complained, not even my wife. I never, ever, yell like that. But I say that stuff all the time and it never works, well except for yesterday.


Fej

No Hamster Field Trip Today

I swear the birthday invitation said 3:00 PM at the east side CEC. We were there at 2:59, present wrapped, with card, front row parking space and with three hungry kids. We found the table with the birthday boy’s name on it although the spelling was a little different and this little guy was only turning two not six. Huh. We walked all around and checked with the staff and even called the West Side location. No luck. So, we drove all the way back home to find the invitation. We had RSVP’d over a week ago and being the 3rd party of four that we were invited to in the last three weekends; it was possible I had mixed something up. We left a frustrated, almost teary, hungry and missing the dang card crew.

All three kids fell asleep on the way home, that’s the first time that has happened on an in-town trip in years. I searched the house and the silly invitation had vanished. I called CEC back and asked if the party might have been scheduled for Sunday instead. Sure enough it had. Except they had cancelled. The lady on the phone was very helpful and thought that the family was still going to come for the party except it wasn’t going to be an official party. She wasn’t quite sure what time either. Forget it.

My kid’s mother wanted to take them to a movie. I told her we had other plans with the party, maybe on Sunday. Our plans entailed driving all over town, no party though.

On Sunday, we had a casual morning. We had bought a portable carrier for our evil dwarf hamster yesterday. My oldest daughter’s mission in life right now is to take the rodent to my parent’s house. I figured they’d be back by 3:30 or 4:00 at the latest. I got a phone call at that time from my wife saying that they missed the 1:30 movie and would be going to the 4:30 instead. That gave me more time to continue on my cleaning mission, but I knew it would be a problem later. I clean so much more effectively under the influence of beer. I reaffirmed this fact this afternoon. It has been so long since I have had the house to myself, on a weekend, when I wasn’t at a soccer game, or sick, or out of town. It is much cleaner now.

My kids returned near 7:00 and my oldest went sulking into her room after I told her the hamster field trip would have to wait. She re-emerged later and I was able to cheer her back up. Then an incident occurred with her falling off the couch and her younger sister didn’t help, or something, and they both said it was the other one’s fault and then doors slammed and everything was quiet. Well, I like quiet at least.

No news is good news when it comes to the soap opera stuff, hopefully that will remain the case.

Fej

My soap opera life - part whatever

For those of you not up to date, click here.

We were at my oldest daughter’s Holiday lunch at her middle school. My Mom, Sister, wife, daughter and I are sitting eating lunch in the cafeteria. My phone rings, it’s a blocked caller. The two people I know who block their calls are sitting in front of me. It’s BF. I can barely hear him over the buzz of a couple hundred middle school kids. Besides I figured the “information” he had for me could wait until I wasn’t sitting at the same table as my wife and his ex-girlfriend. I told him to call back in about 20 minutes.

We finished our lunch and then my wife drained the rest of my battery checking on her rental car since she lost her phone. He called back and after I warned him that my phone was about to die, it did. He called back again.

It turns out that while he was cleaning out FR’s stuff from his apartment, he found a baggie filled with documents of my wife’s. BF kicked FR out of his apartment when he suspected something between FR and my wife. Inside the bag were documents like her apartment rental agreement and overdue hospital bills. He then proceeded to explain to that FR and his ex-wife are into ID theft. He related several stories involving suspicious behavior, baseball bats, and odd phone calls. In all, he described FR as an untrustworthy individual out to get whatever he could from her. He was afraid that FR would come after him also.

He said that he would be willing to talk to my wife about it but wasn’t sure how she would take it. I told him I’d feel things out. He was okay with me mentioning this phone call to her too.

Now. I feel like one of a few scenarios is about to come to fruition:

1. BF is telling the truth. FR is going to attempt to benefit from her in some way financially, to which I say, good luck. FR could however possibly attain access to our account or her car or her apartment or several other possibilities. That would be bad.
2. BF is lying. FR could be a decent guy, with issues, but a decent guy. After all, BF was the one who broke things off to begin with because of his suspicions. Maybe they were true maybe they weren’t. If they weren’t then I can see where he might want to get my assistance in spreading distrust in FR and getting him kicked out of her apartment.
3. Either way you look at it, some sort of confrontation is bound to take place. I am determined to not to take part in any of it. We’ll see how that goes.

Can’t wait to see how it all turns out... no really, I just can’t wait.

Fej

Back to the grind

It wasn’t an abnormal day by any means. Everything went okay after I picked the kids up from my wife’s apartment. The kids were overly excited to see me and I was happy for that of course. Then it turns into, “let’s get your shoes on and go home.” Then 15 minutes later that turns into “Get your stinking shoes on!” My wife is usually distracted with something, now it is currently FR who is apparently without a home right now. I’m not implying that they are doing anything on an intimate level. If you knew the situation you wouldn’t make bets either, but you’d hesitate just like me.

She wants to start taking the kids two nights a week, but she’ll have to do better than reminding me as we are leaving. I don’t think there was any miscommunication here, just no explicit discussions of our true intentions. I knew it was Thursday, but when I called to say I was on my way to pick them up, she didn’t bring up the idea of them staying the night until everyone was packed and out the door.

Kids

I turned “I don’t want to go to bed!” and “I’m not tired!” into “Throw us again, Dad!”

Yes, tossing your children, actually throwing them into bed, does help. They were no doubt laughing hysterically, but there was only one request for water and then they were asleep. It has backfired previously, but tonight it worked perfectly. After tossing them each a couple times back into bed, (360’s and 180 kid flips included) they eventually stopped laughing and fell asleep.

The not supposed to be heard comments of “Did Dad throw you into bed too?!” and “Yeah, but did you flip like I did?! And then them slipping off to sleep happily are music to my ears.

Sad stuff

I don’t need to link anything here, I suppose any Pantera fan knows what happened today. Beyond this though, I don’t know what to say.

Fej

Just one more.

I found this one at Eden's Alley. This one takes some time.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Fej

Okay, I held off for what, three days or so?

Stolen of course from Just Because.

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

Fej

Score 1 for Dad!

Since my dog ate my daughter’s advent calendars again this year (the kind that have chocolate inside) I needed to go buy a new one. My oldest daughter decided she didn’t want another one since the chocolate wasn’t very good. I’ll let the kids stay by themselves for quick trips down to Walgreen’s. Besides they were working on homework.

At least my youngest daughter was doing her homework, the other two were harassing each other to no end. I waited to leave until they had settled down a little. I threatened them with their lives and then went into the garage and then waited by the door as the garage opened. I popped my head back in and there was my son lying across the coffee table in her face sticking his tongue out at my oldest daughter. That was no shocker but the fact that she wasn’t pounding him into the floor was almost unsettling. She was actually pretending he wasn’t there. Which of course, completely infuriates an ornery 1st grader.

I threatened him again with dire consequences and backed my vehicle out of the garage. I then left it running and checked back in on them one more time. This time my son was yelling at the top of his lungs at her. I told him that was his last chance, to get his shoes on (absolute torture) and he was coming with me. Denial was out of the question as I had busted him cold, twice. He was in tears by the time I opened the car door when I gave him one last chance. I let him back inside.

Before you write me off as a wussy dad who doesn’t follow through, lets first consider what I accomplished: I convinced my children to sit quietly and do their homework, all while I was out of the house at a store that they always want to go to (there are a surprising amount of toys there).

Hah! It worked too, little suckers!

Fej

Thanks for Reading

I have nothing of significance to post tonight! That is just fine by me. I have been told many times, many many times that I should write all this crap down.

Those of you, who comment here, thank you. It helps to get feedback of any kind. I hope that someday my life is uneventful enough (in a positive way) that I no longer need a place like this to vent. I don’t think, if any of you are worried, that this will happen anytime soon. A few days like today, in-between the usual days of oddity are what keep me grounded.

Yesterday kind of freaked me out. Not the whole BF and FR thing, I’m going to be dealing with that crap until who knows when. I suspect years and years. The violence of the Wal-Mart (scroll down to More) incident yesterday stuck with me longer than I’d hoped. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid a lot of violence in my life. When it does occur though it hits me just like the first real time I was exposed to it. Just like the large piece of asphalt to the back of my head to be exact. I had no intention of giving the “gas guy” any money last night, his approach and wording made it all too clear he was not interested in “going to work”. I really didn’t want to see him get beaten like that in the parking lot though. What the heck did he say to that guy’s wife anyway?

Everyone at work either thought it was a hoot or that I should be writing all of this down. It may be that someone I know is already aware of my blogging habit. That’s okay I suppose, I’m not necessarily hiding it so much as hoping that I continue to speak freely without holding back.

Thanks for stopping by.

Fej

A Little Background Info

I had a lot of time today to reflect on last night’s phone calls. Due to the hour and the subject nature, I was only able to go into a few details in last night’s posting. I hate to drag this out really, but by posting this stuff it does help me to deal with the fact that I lead a rather strange life.

Last Friday night I dropped by my wife’s apartment to pick up the kids as usual. Her boyfriend (hereafter, BF) was there along with a friend (hereafter FR) of his. Apparently she was going to watch BF’s kids for a couple hours while they ran some sort of errand. No problem, we talked for a while and BF introduced me to FR as well. FR seemed like a nice guy.

Fast forward to Sunday night:

I get the late night phone call from my wife warning that I’ll probably be getting a call from BF. BF was under the impression that she and FR were more than just friends. My wife was warning me that BF was going to try to convince me to keep our kids away from her. She was about to get hysterical and I could hear FR in the background making various comments as she was talking. FR was living with BF prior to last night. FR has four children of his own and is also going through a divorce. After BF decided that FR and my wife were a threat, the fallout began. BF seems like a slightly paranoid sort of person from what I know of him.

So BF kicks out FR and breaks up with my wife and then calls me to express his concern about my wife’s ability to care for our children. I am able to pacify each of them and get to sleep. Now, FR has no place to stay. The only logical choice would for FR to stay with my wife at her apartment. I don’t mean this as an insult, but she would take in Attila the Hun if he needed a place to stay. She means well no doubt but (sigh...).

Tonight, as usual I picked up the kids from her apartment. I had called earlier to make sure that the drama was at a “legal” level. It was. My sister-in-law and boyfriend were there with my new niece along with FR and my kids and one of his kids and they were putting up a Christmas tree. All went well, and we left without issues.

More

I had stopped at Wal-Mart just before picking up my kids tonight. As much as I despise that place I now have more reason to do so. As I was entering my vehicle a man with a gas container propositioned me for $1.50 so “he and his wife could get to work”. Before I could answer another man from behind punched him in the face and knocked him into the next car, then to the ground. The attacker was asking him why he had disrespected his (attacker’s) wife as he beat and kicked the gas guy. Gas guy then started screaming like a girl, no really, high pitched “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” and tried to run off. All the while I’m doing my best “deer in the headlights” impression as they run off into the parking lot. Once my temporary haze wore off, I got in my vehicle and left as a large crowd began to gather.

FYI, FR is also an ex-boxer who used to fight with a lightweight nationally ranked professional boxer from right here in town.

Fej

Pencil sharpeners, artichokes, and spouse's boyfriend.

I bought a pencil sharpener finally. I didn’t pay attention to how it was supposed to be attached though. It turns out that this particular model has to be screwed onto something permanently. Any excuse to pull out my Craftsman 18-volt drill is good enough for me. That pencil sharpener is fastened securely, let me tell you.

My son however, decided that he needed to sharpen every single pencil he could find. I just knew I should have waited to buy a more expensive sharpener but my grocery store had one and I hate to shop, I figured this would save me a trip. Anyway, he grossly disfigured several pencils before I stepped in to show him that indeed, it was better to turn the handle clockwise as opposed to counter clockwise. Figures, I installed it (very securely mind you) perfectly for a family of left handed people. Of which, we are not.

Dinner at our house can be very... well how should I put this? I’ll just tell you what we ate tonight, you can draw your own conclusions from here. I had sausage balls and a beer at my parent’s house after my soccer game.

I then proceeded to fix a toasted turkey and cheese sandwich (with ketchup) for my weirdo son. My daughters had boiled artichoke with lemon butter sauce. Normally I try to make more of a meal even if it is different for each child. Since we had breakfast so late and they had snacks for the rest of the day I decided this was okay. At least two of my children appreciate artichoke although I doubt they’ll be as well rounded as me anytime soon, adding them to pizza and pasta. Still, I have two out of three children who get all giddy at the thought of a boiled green vegetable. That is parental success anyway you put it.

To finish off the night, my oldest and I struggled to revamp a past elementary science project into a middle school science project that happens to be due tomorrow. Loads of fun, I’m sure you know. All the while I was attempting to instill a sense of incentive and responsibility on my younger childre by announcing they would start getting weekly allowances if their room stayed clean. It was a total and complete disaster with me in the end paying out 60% to one of them for a decent effort. This was prior to her and I competing in a yelling match over her choice of using the hallway for a storage area. Apparently it was fair game in her opinion but I disagreed. She ended up being the only one getting paid though since my son feigned a head injury and never really cleaned up a thing. He better hope his good looks and charm continue to hold up for him once he is on his own, it won’t last much longer for me.

As I was about to press “Publish” the phone rang. It’s late and it’s my wife. Oh good, she is just calling to see how things are. No, wait. Her boyfriend(?) is apparently upset and threatening to call me to verify certain events. WTF? I don’t usually cuss here but when she clicked me back on from call waiting she also mentioned that his ex-wife is saying that I’ve been talking to her. I just ran into her at McDonalds and then waved to her at the grocery store. It was awkward, nothing else. For one, why is this guy willing to contact me to verify her activities? Two, why do I put up with any of this?

I just got off a call from him and then a follow up call from my wife. It’s complicated. Then again it’s not. Either way it’s a big deal to them and I hung up the phone with both peacefully and with them knowing that they can call me if they need to talk. I am such a freak. Now I’m also counseling my wife that I’m divorcing and her soon to be ex-boyfriend.

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

Fej

Alone? At the party.

I went to a Christmas party tonight with my kids, parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, brother-in-law’s brother and wife, and I still felt like I was there all by myself. Yes, I’m a bit of a wallflower to begin with but towards the end of the night my kids actually had to pull me out of a conversation. That was just because this guy was talking about lasers and I hoped I could somehow score a connection for a job.

The introductions began as everyone walked in. Due to the size of the party and the immediate disbursement of my children in completely opposite directions of the house I was not around as everyone else got introduced. It wasn’t such a big deal after a while, but it did make me realize what a difference it makes when you show up at an event like that with a significant other compared to own your own.

Now, I’m installing software (basically begging for some sort of disaster to occur) and kids outnumber me 4-1 since my nephew is here too. Wait, my youngest stayed with my parents, so it’s just like normal except he has twice the ability of any of my children to cause trouble and significant structural damage.

Fej

Yes, I do have a Quiz problem.

You should be dating a Libra.
23 September - 22 October
This mate is artistic, refined, loving and
romantic. Though the balance of Libra can
display manipulative, overbearing and indolent
traits, this mate is sure to be a passionate
addition to your bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fej

Tree Decorating

We decorated the tree tonight, finally. It’s been up for a week now with nothing on it. I do most of the tree (since it’s artificial) and they take care of most of the decorating. My younger daughter is really the driving inspiration when it comes to getting this stuff done. She is talented and driven, but right now she is still in a stage where more is always better. What portions of the tree she can reach are heavily ornimated (I just made that word up, copyrighted too) compared to other sections.

This has been the case over the last couple years since their mom hasn’t played so much of a role in decorating and such. My abilities are rank at best and a sloppily decorated tree looks so much better when you know it was done from the heart by little ones, just hoping to impress Santa. Had I been responsible, it would just be sad.

There are some pictures of past trees below.

Fej

This year's tree under construction. The pant-less child would also be the head decorator.

This was from a couple years back. Notice the lack of decorations beyond the reach of the decorators? It was too cute, so I left it as it was.

Dogs eating chocolate...

To get out of our house on time each morning requires just a few things: cooperation of weather, traffic, and kids. Between the three of those things, it just doesn’t happen. Today, I instituted a rather brutal and cruel (according to the recipients) policy of “once the timer goes off, if you aren’t in the vehicle, you are grounded.”

Background: I’m a wuss. I’m terrified of having to really get after my kids. I hate to see them sad, crying, or in trouble. I’m empathetic to a fault. After a few close calls and yesterday with ridiculously backed up traffic, my oldest daughter was really late. We were all to blame to some extent but my youngest daughter was probably the largest contributor. This morning I decided that anyone not doing his or her part would be grounded for the night. (This consists of imaginary punishments, as I haven’t had to follow through with this threat as of yet.)

It worked, quite well to my surprise. I even had time to search the house for various forgotten items. My short list passed with flying colors: backpacks, lunches, my coffee, and jackets. The long list failed.

I came home tonight to a living room full of shredded Advent calendars. I just about lost it. This is the 4th year in a row where my dog, whom I love dearly, has destroyed and eaten every piece of chocolate in my children’s Advent calendars. My mother gives them these things every year and every year they have to be the ones that have chocolate. My dog eventually finds one left out as we leave and completely devours it.

Today (the 2nd day of December) was no exception. My daughters both forgot to put theirs away and I didn’t notice them still out while checking my short list. My son, the youngest, and typically least responsible is actually very diligent about this sort of thing and had put his away.

I cursed my dog (who didn’t have a clue why I was mad) and then was grumpy the rest of the night, thanks to multiple other events. I’ve always considered myself a non-moody person. But when it comes to the little things I find myself rather stressed.

Tomorrow is Friday, I’ll make it through, and then the weekend will fly by like a locomotive on NOX, but it will be just long enough to enjoy.

Fej

Another Quiz

First, to Stan, I apologize. I don't look for these things. I just happen upon them and at that point I'm just like a deer in the headlights...

You Are a Martini

You're not a total lush, but you do like your drinks strong For you, drinking is an art. An experience to be relished. That doesn't mean you don't get really really drunk. A few strong martini's, and you're dancing on the bar!

What alcoholic drink are you?

I've never danced on a bar yet, but head butting a gong in Singapore...ask me about it, I'll deny it.

Fej

Pencil Sharpeners and such.

A pencil sharpener. All I want is a stinking pencil sharpener. Actually, let me be more specific: one that doesn’t break the lead off just as the tip approaches a usable point. I have several of the this type already if anyone needs one.

I had found a working sharpener a couple weeks ago and stashed it so that I could always counter the “I can’t do my homework because I don’t have a pencil” routine. Someone has stolen it. They all plead innocent but I know one of them took it and then lost it. Stinking little kids. I couldn’t possibly have forgotten to return it, I’m a responsible adult.

I set my beer down just a few minutes ago and now I can’t find it...strange.

The funeral on Monday went as well as funerals can go I suppose. I was on my way there when my alarm went off on my phone. If any of you remember this little incident, the morning of the funeral was also her court date. Yes, the one I posted bond for. She probably could have made it just after the burial but it would have been close. She was luckily able to get her caseworker to show up and reschedule it for her.

The reception after the funeral was at her grandmother’s house. I’ve been there plenty of times in recent years but under the circumstances it brought back a lot of memories. A few months after we started dating, my wife’s grandfather died, whom was her adopted father and she still lived with them at the time. I ended up living there with them for the next four months or so. Her grandmother didn’t want to be alone and having a man (teenager at the time) there made her feel better. The rest of her family wasn’t so sure about it but no one was volunteering to help out either. It is an old house and my few months of memories from there pale in comparison to what most everyone else must have been feeling. Regardless, it made the reception the most difficult part of the whole process for me.

Fej