Odd...

I’ve noticed that the remote controls, all three, have not left the coffee table, not even to hide deep within the recesses of the couch as they have a tendency to do, all by themselves. Not one single cup has mysteriously appeared on said table either, that doesn’t belong to anyone in our household oddly enough. Not one spec of cereal, no half-eaten sandwiches, no crumbs at all have showed up around the house. Not even a plate of waffles upside down and stuck to the carpet.

There aren’t even scads of scribbled drawings showing up on paper that seems to come out of nowhere, nothing on the chalkboard has changed in the last 15 minutes much less the entire weekend. Even the most favored canvas of all, the bedroom door to the smaller room, has not had additional works added to it.

I haven’t heard a door slam in so long I think I’ve forgotten what it sounds like. No ear piercing screams followed by sudden “thwacks!”. Not even the wailing and sobbing that always follows the “thwacks!”. And most startling of all, I’ve finally come to the realization that no: toys do not move themselves from the bedrooms to the middle of the living room, kitchen, dining room, hall, bathrooms, my bedroom, my bed, my closet, my underwear drawer. Nope, not a one has moved in the last two days.

You are thinking that I’m missing my kids at this point… Wrong! Maybe tomorrow.


Fej

The river is usually half this size. We roasted marshmallows last year just a few feet left of the center of this photo.

This is hill that was logged extensively decades ago. You can also see some trees that were affected from the Missionary Ridge Fire a couple years back.

This is the VVLT (Very, Very Large Tree). It's a bad picture but you can see the trunk on the right side and it goes all the way into the ditch out of view on the left side.

All Alone!!!

Well, I’m back in the world of mobile phones and Internet access. ONLY WITHOUT MY KIDS!!! It was a good trip but it included a lot of work as well. The record snowfall really wreaked havoc and took out our chimney and deck. A tree (a very, very large tree) had fallen in the yard and I took on the task of getting it out of there. I was quite the lumberjack. The river has washed away a good chunk of land but in the end everything was good. We all had a lot of fun.

My mom not only took my kids but kept my dog up there as well. She is nuts. My time away from them won’t be quite as long as originally planned but it will still be a record of sorts. I’m wasting tonight away taking all of your combined advice, excellent advice I might add. I’m currently in my underwear, typing, drinking, I did vacuum just a little but only because I had cleaned on Friday and my damn cat shed all over the living room. Other than that, I’m slacking.

Maybe I’ll post a few pictures, sometimes it’s better than me jabbering.

Fej

Off to Colorado

I have been Internet free for the last several hours. For once I could not blame my provider either. This time it was my kids... Yes, I left them at home this morning as a first day at home alone during the summer, and sure enough; the back door was unlocked, the trash was in full reach of the dog, the radio was still on, several lights were still on, and the internet no longer worked.

I spent the evening cleaning and preparing for our trip tomorrow. We head up to Vallecito Colorado tomorrow to open up my grandfather’s cabin for the summer. I’ve been doing this (well not always the working part) my whole life. My great grandfather built the cabin in the 50’s and I’ve been going up every year of my life. I guess we have a damaged chimney and porch (due to the huge snowfall this year), a downed tree, and a swelling river. Hopefully the banks will hold the river in.

My wife took the kids to a graduation party this afternoon. Or as I learned this afternoon, they were just leaving. The party was at a Indian reservation somewhere else in the state other than here. I had to pick them up at 10:30 PM tonight since “they just couldn’t make it to the house”.

Anyhow, I fixed the Internet after the lady asked, “Is there anyone there computer savvy enough to reinstall the modem driver?” A statement like that is enough to drive me to solve any problem. It was rather complicated after all, but mostly because of the advice they gave me initially. If this happens again, I can fix it immediately. Losers.

I’ll be back Monday evening, without kids. Yes, my psycho mother has volunteered to keep my kids up there until the following Sunday. OMG! What the heck am I going to do for nearly six days without kids? I have no idea, I could use suggestions, don’t suggest cleaning, otherwise I’ll never visit your blog again. Even though I really should clean.

See you in a few days, have a good weekend.

Fej

More Awkward Moments

My sister-in-law, the one back in town because she is also going through a divorce, whose son I’ve been taking care of on the weekends, the same one who made for the awkward moment a couple weeks ago, you know the one. Anyhoo, I took care of her son last weekend again, he was a handful but we all survived. She called yesterday to say thanks. I was in the plant so I didn’t actually get the call, but the message went fine until, “By the way, your voice sounds sexy on you message.”

Geezloueez

Since I’m horribly void of anything else to blog about, let me take you back about… holy crow, has it been that long? Well, a few years back anyway. My company was having the biggest layoff of all, in December of course, and there were many, many nights and lunches out drinking to celebrate, er uh I mean, well I don’t know, it’s just something we always do when someone gets laid off. Anyway, my one good buddy, of course wanted to go to the strip club for his going away party. Begrudgingly, we all agreed to go. This party included my boss and my boss’s boss.

I knew of this a few days ahead of time and wanted to make sure with my wife that her sister would not be dancing that day. This same sister-in-law was a dancer for a year or so back then. My wife assured me she didn’t work that day, it shouldn’t be a problem. I just wanted to avoid that whole awkward situation. My wife wasn’t at all concerned since the time I fell asleep at a strip club. No, I didn’t pass out, I fell asleep. (Note to you married guys, have your friends complain about you falling asleep in a strip club and you get a life-time pass afterwards…) Anyway, my wife insisted she wasn’t working that day, I’ll bet she never even called.

It’s Christmas time, we’ve all had several drinks, I point out the lady dressed up like Santa to my boss as she goes up to dance, I don’t think we really paid much attention. Then, Dancer-Santa comes up looking for lap dances and exclaims, “Jeff!” Plops down on my lap, and proceeds to introduce herself to everyone I work with. I still have people asking about her at work.

Fej

Kids and Fire

Is this the third or fourth weekend in a row where I’ve been alone with 5 kids for a significant portion of the time? I don’t remember, I just know that my home is showing the carnage and wreckage that children of that number leave behind and I don’t have enough time during the week to catch up. ::big breath::

It’s not all bad, I’m a sucker of course and say yes whenever someone asks to bring over a friend, cousin, strange kid from the supermarket, just kidding of course. It was just cousins this weekend. I almost had six kids on Saturday afternoon, but my sister must have figured that my 3-year-old niece would have been just a bit too much. My niece was pretty upset but afterwards I realized that she definitely would have pushed me over the edge.

I cleaned. If you could see my home, you would call me a liar. I did though, it’s not nearly as bad as it had been.

I also set my fence on fire. It would have burned to the ground had I not checked one last time before we left for my parent’s house. I had been burning weeds in the back yard and oddly, the spot I was worried about was fine, but another section was smoldering badly. I quickly doused it with water and prevented a potentially rather awkward row with my neighbor. It just looks bad on my side of the fence, not there’s, I think.

Fej

Bad Father or Coolest Freaking Dad Ever?

I suppose it all depends on who you ask. Question my children or a couple nephews of mine and they will choose the later. Ask a responsible adult or emergence room doctor and they would have my trampoline taken away from me.

Yes, my kids have been jumping from the roof onto the trampoline all day. It all started innocently enough, it wasn’t like I planned this out or anything. I was up on the roof late last night getting my silly swamp cooler operational. The ladder had to be placed right next to the trampoline and the kids started jumping from the steps of the ladder gradually moving up higher and higher. They were already jumping from the top step when I realized what was going on and then they asked if they could jump from the roof. I figured that would be safer than jumping from the top of the ladder, I could just see it slipping or something.

And uh, yes, I tried it too. It was WAY COOL!

I also took the top off of my Jeep this weekend. I used to wait until the weather was sure to be nice before doing so. When it was my everyday vehicle it was more of a concern to get caught in cold weather or rain. Now, it just sits in the garage so why bother leaving the top on? That’s the best part about Jeeps. Although, my kids are getting too old to fall for the, “Roll up your window!” trick I used to play all the time. Up until about 5 years old they would look at the space where a window normally would be and then look back at me, totally confused. Hee hee, now they just think I’m weird. I guess I should get used to that.

Fej

Among Other Things I Neglected to Mention:

I’ll be in Vegas three weeks from now. I bought my tickets two weeks ago. It’s a bachelor’s party for a friend from high school. It should be a fun weekend, no doubt. I’ll be staying in the “Dude’s” room that is reserved especially for the single guys. Technically there is only one single guy though, one is married but his wife isn’t coming, the other two are going through divorces, of which I’m one. Then there is the “real” single guy.

I can’t wait.

I had a ball getting my swamp cooler going this evening. It was 95 degrees today and at about 8:45 when it was time to turn everything on... the pump wasn’t working. I enjoyed cursing all the way to Home Depot. The freeway was closed for construction and I wasn’t the only one in need of swamp cooler supplies at 9:00 PM on a Friday night, it was a long line.

In the end, all is working, our home is approaching a nice cool temperature quickly and I’m going to go to bed.

Fej

It's time for another Quiz thingy.

I found this over at Ruth's. I think it's also about as much as I can muster up tonight, but surprisingly accurate...

Your Birthdate: September 25

Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects. You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details. Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible. Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show. This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible. In friendships you are very cautious and reserved. You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Interested?

These layoff lunches are getting old and expensive. The last two were both at Mexican restaurants that I like, so each time I left with my shoulder hurting pretty badly. Next week it’s barbecue though, and I don’t tend to gorge myself quite so much at those places. Plus it’s no fun to see the people you’ve known and worked with for the last umpteen years leave like this.

My wife is having a hard time again with facing our pending divorce. She goes through these phases, usually when she’s without a boyfriend, and when I’m feeling like we are finally getting close. She still threatens or at least warns that she is still capable of suicide... I can’t give her what she wants and I won’t fake it. But I can’t prolong this much longer. I really can’t.

I’m still taking applications if any wealthy and mentally prepared guys out there want to take a chance. I’ll do my best to get you the first date but then the rest (and any and all potential damage and liability is assumed by you at this point) is up to you. I’ll always be available for encouragement and support and if my wife needs something, she can call me too.

Fej

Technology Gone Awry

Here is the kind of day I had:

I needed to call and see if my kids were going to be picked up today. I don’t like to burn my mobile phone minutes when I’m right next to a landline especially when coverage in my office is crappy. So I dial the number from my desk phone and wouldn’t you know it, of course I get an incoming call on my mobile phone just as soon as the other line starts to ring. This happens all the time, if I only get two phone calls all day long, then they are always within 30 seconds of each other. Anyhow I notice my caller ID on my mobile phone says it’s a call from my work. Weird I think to myself, why don’t they just try my desk? I answer but no one is there, then I decide to just hang up my desk phone to take the mobile call, but as soon as I hang up the mobile line goes dead too.

Duh.

I called myself. Maybe tomorrow will go a little better.

Fej

It’s Been Busy Here

I read my last post, I didn’t mean for it to sound so depressing, it was not how I was feeling. Tired, uninspired, yes, depressed, no.

Holy cow, it was a busy weekend. Had it not been for my Dad’s 65th birthday party, I would have probably tackled much of my backyard as well. I spent most of Saturday pulling weeds and then following up with my propane tank and flame-thrower attachment to burn the crap out of whatever was left. I like fire…

Okay, back to the point here. The party was nice, a bunch of people showed up, my brother-in-law and I were in charge of cooking, and everyone had a good time despite that. It was a very nice afternoon.

I have a definite hook-up with my ex-neighbor’s clientele, she want’s to get me back into the dating game more than I do. Well, I’ll keep it in mind though. She is a hairdresser you know, don’t they know all the inside info?

Anyhow, there is more, but it’s not that I’m depressed or anything, I just need to go to bed, I’ll try to catch everyone up later.

Fej

Not Much

Yes, there are a few things going on. Oddly though, I don’t find myself rushing to blog about them. This is a new phenomenon for me, well since I started blogging anyway. Not bad stuff, I just don’t feel like going on about it. Not now, it's late, I should go to bed.

Fej

It’s Boy’s Night Out!

Well, in anyway. The girls are staying with their mother tonight and it’s just the little guy and I. We’ll be watching old Star Wars movies and playing Transformers of course.

My cats are mad at me because I forgot to buy cat food and they had to eat the Veterinarian recommended food that they just hate. The wrath of a scorned feline...x 3.

Gotta go, the movie is starting.

Fej

Awkward Family Moments

I found out about another school event just this morning. This time it was a big show the kids put on each year outside. I should have known, I guess it just crept up on me. I felt a little better when my cubicle neighbor (whose son attends the same school) overheard my conversation figuring how to work tonight out, and then explained that she too had completely forgotten.

My wife was somehow dropped off at the school so I needed to give her a ride back to her apartment. On the way back, my kids brought up just about every subject to talk about that had I known, would have explicitly requested that they not bring it up. They decided somehow it was a great time to discuss just exactly how we (my wife and I) came up with each of their names. That was a difficult task with each child as we have completely different ideas on how to “uniquely” name a child. In my opinion, her technique was to give the child some playground-nightmare of a name, to show that they are special. I just wanted them to go through life without fear of having to state their name in a room full of strangers by announcing, “Hello, my name is Zenobia.” Wrong, just wrong. I won those battles though.

They also decided to go into a lengthy discussion of our trips to Nova Scotia. Bad idea. The first trip was before our separation but just prior to the start of our demise. It was a good trip I have to admit and the kids, not being old enough to pick up on things, enjoyed it thoroughly. The second trip was last summer and I didn’t exactly invite my wife. The kids still loved the trip though and really went into details.

Then they thought it would be a great idea if we drove miles out of our way and went to my house first and then had their mom’s roommate come to pick her up later. Uh no, not a good idea, we both chimed in and corrected them on that one.


Anyhoo, way late but we made it home, and into bed, well not my oldest and I, we still have a bibliography to finish for my oldest. Ugh.

Fej

Despite My Typical Day

My kids might literally need to be dragged out of bed, they can complain about breakfast, they can moan about having to get dressed, they can cry foul the harsh cruelty’s of the educational system (like I care, been there done that), they can forget their shoes and I have to rush to K-Mart and buy a new pair because it’s faster than driving all the way back across town (yes, we did that today).

Traffic can suck, people can’t drive when near me, and I’m always in the right and I know this.

My STBEW(Soon-to-be-ex-wife) can wreck her car, break up with boyfriends, forget about commitments to her kids, and go through roommates like it’s a sport.

Work can be too slow, too fast, too stressful, and layoff too many good friends and co-workers.

The drive home is usually worse, only cause I actually want to get home...

Then, an in-law or two shows up to borrow my computer, laundry is everywhere, my animals are insane and seem to only be intent on leading me down the same path, lunches have to be made, baths are long overdue, hair needs to be combed and blow-dried (not mine of course), and the kids again start complaining of the injustices of the world and bedtimes and school…

Then, when I stumble into their room full of clutter, to turn off the radio, that helps them fall asleep, and they are laying there, so peaceful, and innocent, and breathing…

I forget all the other crap, and I’m eternally grateful for the wonderful children I have.


Stupid kids.

Fej

Kids, Everywhere.

That was a busy weekend. Just due to my own desire for punishment I volunteered to to watch various nieces and nephews such that I had five kids for most of the weekend. I’m a moron.

I survived, they survived, and another Mother’s Day has passed where I believe all mothers’ I’m associated with were happy. I’m really tired though and would rather read other’s blogs than write in my own.

Later on,

Fej

The Dog's Breakfast: Please Help!!

The Dog's Breakfast: Please Help!!

Panther Girl is doing some good stuff here, so I thought I'd pass this on too.

Fej

Kids, Everywhere

I got the other $5. My kids didn’t make any further progress on their room and I figured the five-dollar bill would be out of circulation by the time they got around to it. It was really bad though, I don’t think they could have done it. Now, it’s certainly clean and mostly organized so they should be at least able to maintain and clean up a little easier.

I wasn’t home until after midnight yesterday evening. A couple friends from work and I went out to a couple bars and then out for a late breakfast. We drank a fair amount so eating well afterwards really helped sober up. I was asleep a little before 1:00 AM and was unable to sleep past 8:00 AM. What kind of crap is that? I was a little frustrated by that but got up and made some good use of the time before I had to get my kids.

Then I grabbed my niece and nephew and we had a rather calm afternoon despite the presence of five kids. My nephew is staying the night and I’m supposedly going to have my other nephew tomorrow morning for a few hours. Kids...


Happy Mother’s Day.


Fej

Ha Ha Ha, Wipe Out

My son had the coolest wipe out this evening, well until his head and elbow smacked into his sister’s karaoke machine that is. It was slow motion and he was still finishing whatever it was he had come into the room to tell me as he rolled into disaster. He somehow stepped over a basketball (he no doubt had left in the middle of the floor) but not quite far enough, rolled from his leg to his back and then crashed into the karaoke player elbow and then finally his head. I had to stifle my laughter because he did smack himself pretty good.

That was the top to our evening of homework (if they only realized how much of the night they waste complaining). Little else of mention came up and I’m way past ready for the weekend. On the plus side, I get an evening to myself tomorrow. A friend and I are going out for a few drinks after work.

Only a few weeks of school left and my kids are way ready to be done with it. Me too. I need to go make their lunches for tomorrow and get my coffee ready to go. Big sigh

Fej

It's about my wife and auto insurance, I wouldn't bother reading any further.

Everything was going fine until I got to work. Then I get a call from a gruffy voiced insurance adjuster. My wife’s car was in the shop to see if there was a problem with the auto body repair work done on her car nearly 8 months ago. She had been complaining about it for some time and each time she took it in, they claimed to find nothing wrong. I told my wife to have the insurance people there to back her up and make sure it gets fixed.

So the adjuster tells me that he found new damage to the car, that would explain the problem and unless we filed a new claim they weren’t paying for anything. Great. I called my wife who didn’t answer and I was unable to hide my frustration during the message. When I finally talked to her about an hour later she insisted that she had not been in another wreck, the rim damage the adjuster was referring to was from years ago and this was a problem with the repairs, not her driving. Yeah, if you knew her driving history, you’d be skeptical too.

However, I am familiar with the scrape on the rim they were referring to and it had been there for years. Also, to destroy a rear axle, you’d have to hit a curb pretty damn hard. So, I called back the adjuster and he assured me this was indeed the cause. Uh huh. So, I am back on the phone with my wife and her roommate who is quickly taking charge (and much easier to talk to...). Turns out they have been working this for a few days now. Roommate’s uncle is a “Master” mechanic and has already seen the car and decided this was a defect from the repair and not subsequent damage.

To add to their story, the guy at the dealership informs me that my insurance company opted to use refurbished parts for the repair as opposed to new. This means that the dealer can then transfer all liability to the insurance company... who insists this is all due to a scratch on the rim.

I’m actually on my wife’s side at this point.

I decide to call my insurance agent personally to see if he can help. I told him everything and he sounded like he might be able to help, at the least he would ask someone above the gruff voiced adjuster I spoke to originally.

To wrap things up, my wife was livid during every conversation only to have her roommate grab the phone each time and then clear things up. I really think I like this lady... well at least what she’s doing for my wife. Her uncle has said he will fix the car on the side, film it, and then they were going to take the insurance company and dealership to court. Good gosh.

That won’t happen for a couple weeks so hopefully I can work with my insurance company (a little more tactfully anyway) and get this issue straightened out prior to bringing in lawyers.

Lovely day.

Fej

The Kids are Making Their Own Lunches

Is this some sort of divine intervention? I always figured it would come in the form of a lightening strike (of course), then followed by the sound of angels singing (not that I would have heard that before), and of course lots of bright light. Nope, it came in the form of, “Uh, Dad, can I make my own lunch?” This was from my younger daughter.

Followed by, “I’ll make mine too if that’s okay…” from my oldest.

An insult? A polite way to say, “Your lunches are crap Dad.” No, none of that. This has been quite the saving grace for me in fact.

I guesstimate that I’ve made somewhere in the range of 800 lunches not including my own in the last two years. This number could be as high as 1000 but not likely lower than 700, I should have kept track. No wonder this subject has driven me nuts for the last couple years. When my kids decided that they liked something at school, I would be ecstatic, but it rarely would last. My son no longer likes “Pizza Wednesday”, my daughter stopped liking “Hero” sandwiches, and my oldest only eats burritos… I think.


I still have to monitor and approve what they pack themselves… intervention is necessary in-order to prevent them eating a lunch of purely potato chips and cookies, but they do fairly well actually.

It won’t last, I think it’s just a heavenly reprieve from some higher up that knows I’m burning the candle at both ends and that there are only a few weeks left of school. Either way, it’s nice.

Fej

Sunday

I just knew I had spoken too soon. My wife changed the mobile number that she’s had for close to three years now. It was the one mostly sure way to get a hold of her for a long time. Late last night though she called to inform me that this number had been changed, R is out of her life and harassing her, so she had to change the number.

Dang it. For whatever reasons I though this guy had a chance too. Then again, I’m probably overreacting. It’s been less the 24 hours, they could be already back together again...

I forced my children to watch my the all time best movie in the whole world last night and yup, they loved it. “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” is a true classic of course, always brought up in the same conversations as “Gone With the Wind” and “The Godfather”. So, it was time to introduce my kids to true cinematic genius. I did have to mute it though during the car rental scene...

Our team played a good game today. We lost but sometimes that’s when we are at our best oddly enough. I’m terrible sore this evening, which only means the next few days I will be even more so.

Fej