Today:

The technicians at work broke one of our machines today. All because of safety improvements added to prevent a reoccurrence of an operator from another department hurting himself while trying to lift a heavy bucket of solvent. The 60+ year-old woman who has been doing this job for the last year has never had a problem.

My wife got out of the hospital today. I don’t think she is ready.

Her therapist drove her to my work to get a key to my house to get her keys to the car. That’s a confusing sentence but all you need to remember is that the therapist was one of the most beautiful women I’ve seen in a really long time. I think I need therapy too...

I left work a little after 5:30 and as usual I could not make it home before 7:00 PM. I’ve been told that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I don’t think I should ever go through the McD’s drive through near my house again and continue to hope that they might get the order correct for once. Then again it would be an excuse to get therapy...

I haven’t wanted to watch TV (other than the silly cartoons my kids watch that hypnotize me) that I remember for months. I did however plan on watching the presidential debates tonight. After the multiple stops, traffic, and drive-through delays, I made it home a little after 7:00. I managed not to throw my trash-can-destroying dog through a window, popped a beer, and watched most of the debates. Besides several trampoline-related arguments, the only other interruption was my wife’s phone call, who is now back at the hospital. Since she is still on vacation I may have to go pick her up from the hospital again some time tonight.

I didn’t get much of anything else done and the list of to-do’s is growing exponentially. Only one child went to bed crying tonight and it was just a horrible excuse for being really tired.

On a positive note, I might possibly have a connection on a new job. I’ll keep you posted.

Fej.

Time for what?

I made it to the hospital to see my wife today. She is still on “vacation” if I’m asked by anyone else. I hate going to that place of course, but I knew she needed someone there. She was sad, medicated, and still causing problems with the staff. Still, she is doing better than the many times before. She does want to get some control of her life again. She also wants a lot more than that, but I’m giving all I can right now and it’s more than I want to.

She will hopefully get access to a long-term outpatient program that is geared towards people like her. 28 days won’t fix it, and it’s just a movie if you ask me.

I don’t seem to have time for anything anymore. I really need to start working less and making more money. Suggestions for how to do this are welcome. There are so many things I need to do at home now and with the kids. Not to mention that Fej time is limited to what you are reading. My only personal time is spent reading other’s blogs that I have come across and contributing to my own. Other than that, it’s making lunches, attempting to keep the house clean enough to see my crappy carpet, helping with homework x3, keeping vehicles running, and a bunch of other stuff somewhere in-between.

Fej.

New job?

Today was the first meeting with my new boss. I was a meager 23 minutes late. I wouldn’t want to set any precedence that might give him false expectations. Actually, this wasn’t an overt attempt to show any sort of defiance or hope that he’ll get used to me being late all the time. It was just traffic and a whole friggin bunch of it. My sister doesn’t have room in her car to take all of my kids and hers to school. Braniac (me) didn’t even think of leaving the Suburban with her so instead I took my oldest to school and she took the younger ones.

My plan was to drop her off 20-25 minutes early and I’d slide in right on time or just fashionably late. We didn’t even make it to her school until my meeting started. My late arrival was luckily probably forgotten since our staff engineer of the group came in 5 minutes later than I did. I don’t have much confidence in this new group. Our company won’t invest in any new opportunity unless they are guaranteed 40% profit margins with little or now startup cost. And if it looks, behaves, and manufactures exactly like every other product out there we make. Basically, unless some miracle opportunity falls on our plate, they will close this place out soon.

It’s not my new group I’m concerned about its just that it’s not likely they will support anything we come up with. I’ve been assigned to what is basically an R&D group, with no funding. When you don’t make any money and no money is put in, what do you think the output will be?


Furniture

I have new (to me) bedroom furniture thanks to my brother-in-law’s brother. I just need to pick up the bed tomorrow and somehow get all this crap in my house. I don’t really have any furniture to speak of in my bedroom except for the King size waterbed my wife left me. I never wanted it in the first place but she has an upstairs apartment that won’t allow it. I’m going to drain it, happily move back to a mattress, and have room for drawers in my bedroom again. Of course fitting myself, a dog, a cat (if they are far enough apart, two), at least one kid and sometimes two, into a queen size bed again will be difficult. That’s okay though.

Fej.

Hallway wallflower

Tonight I was the 5th wheel again. I’m getting rather used to it actually. At first it was weird but I think all of the other couples find it more uncomfortable than I do. That’s because they knew my wife and had met her at social occasions before. We were married long enough that it’s odd not to see us together but I think they appreciate it too.

She was always the life of the party. I’m a wallflower. I’m actually like a hallway wallflower, where you only notice me if you are looking for the bathroom. She was the flashing neon sign blaring through the open window at night, or the bullhorn in the library, whatever you get the picture. She was always a bit over the edge so sometimes it wasn’t pretty. I don’t mean to say that people can’t be outgoing, enthusiastic, and not afraid to break the ice, but there are extremes to everything. And of course even when she wasn’t out of line, I was already digging a hole to hide in just in case.

My immediate boss is quitting and we wanted to take him out for dinner. Once it was established that spouses could go, my boss’s boss sent out an email confirming reservations for 12. I replied that it only need be 11. He felt really bad (he forgot about my situation) about it as if I would be offended. I’m glad to know he was concerned but it wasn’t necessary. I feel so much more comfortable in public and social situations without her. I’m not a complete introvert by any means, but I don’t worry as much as I used to. I have lots of stories but I’ll save them for later. Still, I couldn’t help feel like the odd man out. It went fine and I’ll miss working for this guy.

My wife is still in the hospital and she hasn’t been transferred to any long-term treatment program that I’m aware of. She has been admitted to this and similar facilities 5 or 6 times in the last year, but they are just long enough to get her through the tough part. Then she is back out, doing well for a couple weeks, but no real long-term progress has been made. They (doctors and nurses) won’t even talk to me for legal reasons, regardless of marital status. It’s unfortunate (although I understand how this could be misused in abusive relationships) where the one person who could potentially offer an objective perspective is shut out completely. Just another reason to dislike cowards, male or female, who take advantage of and abuse people.

Fej

Weekend fun

We had a good weekend. I didn’t do anything to speak of on Saturday except eat too much and take a nap. I didn’t exactly get the night off with all of the kids and my nephew here, but they are getting easier to take care of. On Sunday morning I was able to sleep blissfully until 9:00 AM. Okay, it wasn’t blissful by any means: I forgot to turn off my alarm on my exterior temperature thingy, and between my dog, one of my friendly cats, and my son, it was just about impossible to get out of bed much less turn over. By 9:00 AM I was ready to get up just to get a little personal space.

We played pretty well in our soccer game but were out done by a much younger team. They scored 5 goals in the first half while I played forward. Then in the second half I move to sweeper and they scored only one goal, which was debatable at that because it was unclear whether the ball actually passed the line.

I got to have a few beers with my team afterwards and then had a good birthday get together at my parent’s house afterwards. Other than from my parents, I didn’t get a single gift, purchased from a store. My kids though, after realizing it was my birthday spent most of Saturday morning either making some sort of cheesy gift or finding a toy that they no longer wanted. That was good enough for me, because I couldn’t possibly expect them to pick out a good home entertainment center all by themselves. At least they tried, that was all that mattered.

Fej.

Acute excessive consumption shoulder pain

I got to eat at my favorite restaurant. I’ve always tortured everyone for my birthday by forcing us to go out to the places I like. They usually are not much to speak of when it comes to atmosphere, reputation, and in this particular situation cleanliness. Not to mention we had to squeeze 10 of us into a single round booth. With a chair and the fact that 5 of us were skinny little kids it wasn’t so bad.

It went really well and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I ate until my left shoulder started hurting. I have this weird condition where if I eat too much of any kind of food, my left shoulder will start to hurt. It’s not piercing pain but it’s uncomfortable and now becoming something of interest because no one else apparently experiences this that I know of. I’m not a big guy in any dimension but sometimes I can eat a lot when I want to.

It was several hours before I could join the kids on the trampoline but I eventually did. I’m just asking for pain by continuing to push the limits on that thing. Other than that I haven’t accomplished anything today except for a nap. I rarely get to nap and they usually make me more tired than before. My dog and cat loved it and were all over me the whole time. I was uncomfortable and eventually had to dig myself out and get up.

My nephew is spending the night so that makes the kids to adult ratio 4 to 1. In all reality it’s probably more like 4.5 to 0.5, I don’t really feel like a grown up yet.

Fej.

Another one.

I finally got a picture of a sunrise.

Here we go again.

Today started off well enough. The kids had spent the night with their mom since they had an in-service day, no school. So I shocked the crap out of everyone and showed up to work at 7:30 AM. I got the whole gambit of explanations:

“I thought your car broke down, why else would it be here this early in the morning?”

“Do you keep an extra set of clothes here?”

“You always leave early on Friday, I suppose you will be out of here by lunch today?” (From my boss no less)

“What the hell are you doing here this early!!??” (The most common response).

I’m just so proud that I’ve managed to reach a point in my career where people are surprised when I show up before 9:00 AM and everyone is okay with it.

After exchanging lots of jokes with my boss about leaving early I had to anyway. Damn. My wife’s apparent progress was all a front. She had tried to commit suicide earlier this week and was completely falling apart. I commended her on finding the strength to call me and told her to get ready to be admitted. She actually suggested the hospital admission but I’m supposed to tell everyone she is on vacation. This is a change too, usually she wants to tell the whole world when she is in the hospital.

I don’t know how close she really came to dying, but if I cut her story in half, then she just took 15 Xanex pills at once. If she was telling the truth... I think she is more prepared than ever to work on getting better and off the medication. I took her to the hospital tonight and checked her in. I hope they keep her longer than a week. I don’t think you can break this sort of problem in a few days. She actually recognizes what is wrong and wants to get help. This is a big break through but it’s going to be really tough. And she cried the whole time about screwing things up between us, how I was right all along, and she totally regrets everything that has happened over the last two years.

It’s nice to finally feel like you were right after all this time. It really sucks to see someone that you care about plead for something that you don’t and can’t ever feel again. I just hope they can give her the help she needs, I can’t, she can’t and this is her one legitimate medical need that has to be addressed.

It’s Friday at least and my birthday is tomorrow. My parents are taking me to my favorite restaurant and I’m going to eat until my left shoulder hurts. I’ll relate more about that little problem later...

Fej.

Clean fuel and cash for me!

It’s nice to have a normally operating computer. I’ve reloaded most of what I need on my new but ancient PC. I’m running at a whopping 400 MHz but the difference before and after the reload is night and day. If I ever get a truly new PC (i.e. > 2.0 GHz) I’d probably wouldn’t know what to do with all the free time I would have. Then again, as IT guru for my Dad’s PC, I’m not looking forward to dealing with XP. Please share your thoughts on OS’s, I’m scared to move beyond Windows 2000. My experiences so far have all been negative.

I had an unusually slow day at work. Instead of discovering just how much money one could lose playing solitaire in Vegas, I instead delved into the world of E85. For those of you wondering what the heck I’m talking about, it stands for Ethanol 85%, gasoline 15%. This is the relatively unknown fuel source made from the fermenting of corn. Corn is of course the readily renewable resource that we currently pay some farmers not to grow. It burns much cleaner but costs about the same as gas (because of the whole conspiracy theory thing I'm sure…).

Did you know that since 2000, 3 million + cars are AFV capable? AFV means Alternative Fuel Vehicle. Ford Explorer’s are just about all AFV compliant among several other major manufacturers leading cars. Even late model cars can be retrofitted with a chip replacement assuming they are fuel injected.

Now I just need to find someone with a bunch of capital that wants to start the first public AFV E85 re-fueling station here in town. I think we could make some cash and even help the environment. I’m not your typical tree hugger but I wouldn’t mind making a buck or two and actually doing the environment some good.

Fej.

I'm back

Miracles do happen. How do I prove this you ask? Well the fact that you are reading this should be proof enough. It’s been what, three days, umpteen million restarts and reloads, and yes, my new OS and recently formatted hard drive are working just fine. What’s even scarier is that everything I backed up prior to this crack dream reload is actually transferring to my new configuration.

I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, or in my case, the PC to explode and rip me into little pieces. I paid dearly for this upgrade in time, frustration, and lack of preparation but everything does appear to work. I’ll just pretend that this was a normal PC upgrade that millions of people go through on a daily basis and my own unique experience shouldn’t be considered as “normal”.

In the meantime, I’ve made it to and from Colorado to close my grandfather’s cabin, been assigned to a newly created division in my company, become very familiar with my children’s potential step siblings, and well heck, I survived. That is enough and I’m thankful for everything. I’m even thankful that when stepping from the trampoline into a chair that broke in half, the resulting scrape on my shin was mild in comparison to what I expected. My kids got a real kick out of it too, it’s just unfortunate that no one video taped it or I’d be $10,000 dollars richer.

Fej.

Last update (from home)?

Everyone please wish me luck, I’m going to try re-loading this computer. Just opening an email or changing my screensaver has become such an ordeal that I can no longer tolerate it. Knowing my history with this sort of thing and my tendency to infuriate inanimate objects, this will not likely go well.

I’ve been very busy lately and have a lot to complain about. It will have to wait until I’ve stumbled through this project first.

Fej.

On the road again

The State Fair was expensive of course but the kids did have a lot of fun. I should have stayed home and got prepared for this evening' trip. I have no laundry done, I’m not packed, need to mow the lawn, go to the grocery store, and get my kids ready. I suppose it’s not that big of a deal since we’ll only be gone two days. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Fej.

Busy

My day was slow until my boss took us out for a beer (during work) and announced he was quitting. Then I was behind but really tired. My kids just wanted to jump on the trampoline and so bad-guy-mean-dad had to rear his ugly head again. Everyone survived and I managed to clean a good portion of the house.

Did I mention that while I’m out of town my house will be used to throw my sister-in-law’s baby shower? She has invited some 40+ people. My kids want to go, my grandfather wants to go, and everyone else but me, wants me to go. I just don’t want my house destroyed and feel I should probably be there.

Tomorrow night my mom has promised to take the kids to the State Fair so nothing will be accomplished then either. I guess I could try to have some fun instead? I just have so much to do and it will cost a fortune I’m sure. The kids will have fun though. That’s it for now.

Fej.

Transfers, trampolines, and tension

I spent the first half of the day running between three different schools, home again, stopping for gas, and finally making it into work just in time for lunch. All of this because my wife hadn’t really taken care of all of the transfer stuff. They needed a social studies book (which we forgot) and umpteen billion signatures before they would drop her from the previous school. Once I got that all done and dropped off my weirdo little ones, the counselor suggested that she just start tomorrow instead. Of course, my wife hadn’t answered my previous call and my mom wasn’t answering at home or on her mobile phone. I ended up driving just about all the way home before finally getting a hold of my wife. My mom did call back of course and felt horrible for forgetting to bring her phone into the store. Then I felt bad for getting frustrated because I, of all people, should know that my mom would still drop everything she’s doing to help out her kids.

The highlight of the morning: the counselor of the new school asking where “Dillon” was? The expression on her face described a woman longing for the cute little face of a child (younger than 3). Then it hit me and I had my awkward moment of the day. She was referring to my wife’s (new) friend’s little boy that she must have been taking care of while registering my child. Apparently he was really cute and running all over the place so I didn’t spoil it by saying I really didn’t know the kid, at all. My oldest daughter thought it necessary to explain to me that the counselor thought Dillon was my son. Egad.

So, this evening we had a good jumping session on the new trampoline. I have not launched any child high enough to leave the trampoline yet, but it’s been close. My youngest daughter is like a toothpick with hair that can jump like a grasshopper. Add a trampoline and me assisting by jumping just as she is coming down… it won’t be long before she is flying high over the swing set. Then, mean old dad made them clean up. What’s worse, he didn’t even let them watch TV. How they will survive, the tortured children that they are, I don’t know.

Fej.

Computer's lose

Machines (computers, fuel pumps, toasters, and whatever other inanimate objects out there continue to taunt me) lost this one. I am burning backups on my new CD writer as I write. It was painful and needed multiple re-starts, but my new burner and my computer are working now. If everything goes as planned, I’ll back up the essentials, wipe out my hard drive and start over fresh.

Given my success so far, this could be my very last post from this PC...

I survived the weekend despite it being a bit different. I can’t help but still get a little excited at the thought of my wife getting involved with another seemingly responsible and self-sustained individual. I haven’t propositioned her on what’s going on yet because I don’t want to screw things up. Weird, I know.

The trampoline has been a big hit with the kids and I’ve enjoyed it immensely myself. Is the house any cleaner... well I have more leverage and well, okay I’ve been busy watching potential step siblings to my children but alright... no. I did however put my foot down (not on the trampoline) today and convince my youngest daughter to begin working on her room. It will take time but we’ll get there.

I’ll be out of town this weekend yet again and this time to help my grandfather close up the cabin and get back home. I’ll miss a baby shower held at my house for my sister-in-law. I didn’t blog then, but this time last year it was she and I living together and taking care of the kids. It was really weird (as most things for me are) with her being 19 and practically a mother to my children. This is another really long post that I’ll probably never get too. To make a long story short, one of the most important things I tried to impose on her was to wait until she was settled in life to have children. Four months after she moved out of my house and in with a recent boyfriend, she was pregnant and couldn’t be happier. I don’t want to rain on her parade, but I’m still a bit disappointed.

Lastly, but definitely the highlight of the month, we got my oldest daughter into the mid-school she wanted to go to. I called today and mistakenly they told me her transfer was approved. I told my wife and she went down to the new school with the transfer paperwork. There was a computer mix-up (go figure) but in the end the transfer was approved. My daughter was ecstatic and happy for a fresh start. It really made my day (month) and I hope this works out better for her.

Not bad for Monday the 13th.

Fej.

Computers

I hate computers and they feel the same way about me. I spent 4 hours last night trying to install a CD burner. One hour of it was me being a dumbass but the next three were not my fault. The drive is fine but the software still does not work yet. I have one last thing to try before I use my computer as a speed bump. I’ll post pictures if I do the crushing to little pieces thing. Uh well, I guess I couldn't though due to a lack of a computer...

Fej.

Saturday

For a four day week, the weekend sure took its time getting here. I made it though and Saturday has passed successfully. As a continuation of yesterday’s post, I now have my wife’s new friend’s daughter staying over at my house tonight. Is that just weird or what?

My middle child and his daughter really hit it off. They stayed over at my wife’s apartment last night and played all day together. I even stopped by earlier in the day and she didn’t want to come back with me. That is pretty rare for her.

I decided to try bribing my children to put a little more effort into helping to keep our house clean. I bought a trampoline today and stated that you can only jump if you have cleaned up your mess. They made a good effort today and I let them jump before everything was done. (BTW, I can still do flips, but my lower back is sore... it sucks getting older.)

A little later on, my wife called to check on the kids. Then she asked a couple questions about computer stuff. That was a little strange but they were at his apartment and I guess he has a computer. She called back again and this time put him on the phone. He went into a full explanation of what sort of work he does (it sounds like he has the potential to support her, Fej does flips and cartwheels...) and then describes how his business is being attacked by previous employees. I guess these guys are some pretty sharp hackers and have really screwed up their network. He wants me to take a look at it but I warned him I wouldn’t be able to help much but I could point him to trustworthy people who could. I spent about 20 minutes talking to him on the phone, I just can’t shake this weird feeling though.

Tomorrow my soccer season starts up again. I’ll be sore until Wednesday at least but I’m looking very forward to the game. My oldest has been crying a lot about her new school. She is very sharp but totally unorganized. I’d like to blame my wife for this but I’m just recently improving in this category myself. I’m making a big effort to help her out, but she can’t stop worrying about it.

Fej.

Friday night?

I had planned on a rather typical night (even for a Friday) but it turned out differently. My wife called about 45 minutes before I left work but I didn’t have coverage of course. I got the message later and she was just calling to let me know that she and Ryan were taking the kids swimming and I could have the night off.

Okay, that was just weird. Go out, drink, party, have fun, the kids are fine? No, I just don’t know what those words mean. The Ryan part didn’t hit me until later, after I found someone to go drinking with me of course. My friend from work L was open to a last minute beer. We drink well together and could have easily stayed out way too late. My oldest called though and asked that I pick them up. I cut things short and headed to the apartment. To my surprise, Ryan was still there. To my additional surprise he was very nice, and good looking (in a “I want my wife to find another man” sort of way). I was surprised that she mentioned him at all to begin with much less that he was still there. It turns out that he has two kids of his own and they had no intentions of leaving anytime soon. My middle daughter even decided to stay and finish his daughter’s toes (painting that is).

I left completely… well… excited. He was nice and apparently interested in her so that led me to fantasize about a man who could love her, take care of her, put up with her, and still want to do all of this at the end of the day, with her. All of which, I can no longer do. Holy cow, this is weird. I really liked him and my wife and I got along just great even though my son was totally distraught about whom to stay with.

That is the sad part, deciding whether to stay with mom or dad. But it worked out quite well. I guess this is what I think must happen in order for our divorce to finally happen. She needs to be with someone, all the time. This person needs to be able to put up with a lot. Can he do it? That remains to be seen but I’m just ecstatic that it might be a start. To Ryan... a toast to what could be!


Fej.

Homework

Homework, homework, homework… I’m sick of it and my kids are too. Did we (Gen-X or whatever the heck I am) have this kind of homework growing up? Hell no. More importantly, is it helping? I’m not convinced. My kids are stressed out and hating school right now. They are uninspired and really like my (recently copyrighted and patented) idea of working or going to school on Saturday and Sunday. Then having Monday through Friday off.

Seriously though, I don’t see the advantage to piling on the homework. In China, they work the kids to the bone. They are in school longer, by the year and per number of hours in a day. I hear from my friends there that the kids also hate school and think it is too difficult. Some of these kids are up until 10:00 or 11:00 at night finishing homework, daily, after 8-10 hours at school.

So are the people who went through school in the 50’s and 60’s here in the US less capable than the kids from more recent decades? I seriously doubt it. In fact, the polls, survey’s, and tests that typically rank US students behind those from other countries don’t take into consideration quality of life. I don't think people realize that these other countries that produce “really” smart kids, are also depriving them from experiencing some of the most important times of their childhood. These kids don’t know what its like to have fun after school. They never leave school.

Children today will be the grown-ups of tomorrow so this is why education is such an important topic. Unfortunately, I don’t think our current approach will actually improve our situation. Burning kids out to the point where they have no desire to continue to go to school does not seem right. My kids constantly ask me if it’s going to get any easier. I can only tell them the truth, no. College is tough and is meant to be so.

I don’t think we have any idea what the consequences and results of our modified educational curriculum will be. Homework only reduces the amount of time children have for real life. If our educational system of years past was so bad, then everyone we hold to be brilliant from then are strictly anomalies. Scholars, philosophers, physicists, doctors, lawyers, politicians, astronomers, etc. from our recent past, everyone’s accomplishments that have resulted in today’s society were actually freak exceptions that happened to leak through the system. I don’t think so.

To simply say that because students from other countries out perform students from the US, implies that US educational standards are inadequate is outright false. There are so many other dynamics that contribute to an individual’s intelligence that have nothing to do with a countries educational system.

Sorry for the rant.

Fej.

A close-up of a rather typical sunset here, from a side view.

Not Much

First off, I came across How to Blog by Tony Pierce on Kat's blog and I also thought it was excellent reading.

For those of you who did not heed my first warning (Stupid Game), they have come out with another one. I’m quickly losing all interest in everything but this game…

I’m ready for vacation again. This is another good sign that I’m not happy at work. This feeling is stronger than ever just as I’m becoming pretty busy again. Two days back at work and I want to leave. I know, many of you feel like this too. It’s been different for me though, I was always motivated, always of the “glass is half full” club. Not now.

I also ran across Ramyi while on Tony’s site... wow.

Fej.

School Danger

Anyone else catch the news about the Russian school terrorist attack? I’m sure you did. I always turn up the radio in the car for the news but recently the kids don’t seem to ignore it quite like they used to. Now, my profanity-prone six-year-old immediately picks up any little cuss word that escapes and more disturbingly, my 11-year-old is also paying attention to the news.

This was distressingly obvious this weekend as she repeatedly asked me for update on the Russian school hostage situation. Once the siege had taken place and it was just counting bodies and injuries, she again asked for an update. More specifically she asked, “Is the thing in Russia over yet?”
I truthfully replied that it was over. I left out the part about how half of the dead were indeed children. She then of course asked how many children died. I lied and said I didn’t know.

Here is the kicker: My young ones picked up on the conversation at this point and asked what happened. My oldest then related everything the news, and I had told her. Then the barrage of questions began. How do you correctly reply to this: “Can this happen at my school?”

If you take into account all of the school shootings, fights, threats and otherwise (not even bringing up the Columbine incident) how do you relate the risk to your children? If they understood statistics, then this would be easy and they wouldn’t pester me to play the lottery either. Then again, most of the real engineers I work with play the lottery. Go figure. I tried to assure them that the likelihood of something like this happening in a school in America was very remote. I’m not sure it helped, they empathized enduringly (I’m proud but saddened how much they have learned, so young) and I know this left a mark.

Okay, now added to my wish to have a job that paid me to stay home and I’d like to include home schooling.

Fej.

The Jeep at 11000+ feet. My carburator complained about the lack of oxygen, but didn't argue.

Mines from the 1920's are just off to the right (not in view though).

It was rain at lower elevations...

Cabin trip

We had another great weekend at the cabin. I don’t think I’ve gone into much detail about this place so here is a quick summary: My great-grandparents built this cabin in the late 1950’s. My grandparents took over it after their parents died and now it’s just my grandfather. I’ve gone there at least once, usually several times every year of my life. I love that place and now my kids love it too.

All of my difficulties in figuring out how to get my Jeep up there leaked to my grandfather. He heard that I wanted to bring it up and get to Cave Basin. Neither of us had been there in at least 10 years but I suspect it’s been longer than that. When I called to let him know that we were on our way, his only concern was if I had the Jeep with me. I confirmed that I did.

Saturday of course rained all day. Sunday though was perfect but I was concerned about mud. We all drove to the top of the mountain and then a bit further to where we hadn’t been able to go beyond previously. The forest service had always closed the road. Now it was open but even though all four cars in our party were four-wheel drive no one was willing to continue on but me. It was only about 1.5 miles to the top and I ended up doing it three times. My grandfather’s knee was bothering him, my cousin’s wife (who is seven months pregnant) started to feel bad, and my sister’s mother-in-law was way out of shape. Then of course the kids didn’t want to walk. I loved every minute of it especially because it was a really tough road (if you can call it that).

I’ll probably tack on a few pictures following this. I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

Fej.

Yes, it's a picture of a picture. This is me, probably... 15 years ago. Skateboarding was my life at the time. I still dream about it and now I've blogged about it.

Getting ready for vacation

Since my life is too busy for work, I took tomorrow off. It’s a good think I did, because with the silly make-up softball game tonight, I didn’t get anything done. Our team sucks. Tonight though? We definitely did not suck. This team creamed us of course the last time we played but we were actually ahead most of the game. I didn’t want to play, almost called and said I couldn’t make it, and of course the girls I left at home had problems. So for once, when I didn’t want to play at all, the game lasts nearly an hour and a half. But of course, we still lose. I’d have been better off not going for personal reasons and because I was so distracted, I played like crap. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

We are partially packed and I can get the rest of it done tomorrow. I finally decided to just rent a car trailer to take my Jeep up to Colorado. It is safer, easier on my tires and transmission, and the guy I was going to borrow the dolly from lives way out in the mountains.

My oldest is still struggling with middle school. Every single night, she says she is done with her homework. Then at exactly 5 minutes until bedtime I hear a shriek and she comes running in telling me how she forgot about another assignment. Tonight was no exception and she is beginning to fall behind. I think I’m going to just let her stay home tomorrow (normally a big no-no for me) since we are leaving town anyway. She can get caught up and hopefully stress both of us out a little less next week.

Thankfully softball is over. I enjoyed most of the season but I just can’t do this while the kids are in school. Soccer starts up in a week or so, but I’ve been doing that for years and the games are on the weekends. I won’t be posting this weekend since I’ll be back in lack-of-technology-land again.

I hope everyone has a good weekend and I’ll pester you more next week.

Fej.

Too busy for everything

I just don’t have time for work anymore. Between dropping off and picking up the kids (technically my wife is supposed to, she’s at about 60% right now), all the financial crap I’m doing, trying to keep my house from becoming completely inhabitable, occasional laundry, car problems, wife problems, homework… the list goes on and on.

I’m trying to think of a convincing argument to get my employer to continue to pay me while not actually going to work. I think they already have a name for it though and it is called “unemployment”.

My Suburban is back up and running after a very painful repair job. It runs great again. I’m still stressing about towing my Jeep up to Colorado this weekend though. A friend of mine is willing to loan me a tow dolly but after everything I’ve read about them I’d really rather use a car trailer. Those cost money though and he is lending this to me for free. I don’t quite know what I’ll do yet, but now that my grandfather has heard that I’m trying to bring the Jeep up he is also looking forward to it. There is a particular “trail” or road if you can call it that, we used to travel every summer as kids. It leads to a sharp cliff, an amazing view and some mines from the 1930’s that were left from gold diggers. The road has gone to crap over the years and has been closed by the Park Service. They opened it back up a couple years ago but no one has a vehicle that is able or that they are willing to take up there. Now I’m committed, for possibly multiple trips given that the Jeep seats only 3 other than me.

I will probably need to take a half-day of vacation on Friday, as we are nowhere near ready to go. I have a make-up game of softball tomorrow night that I don’t want to go to but I know they need me. I need to go grocery shopping, find a car trailer, but new sprinkler valves, faucet valves, get my wife to feed the cats, and pack for three children and me. Yup, a half-day ought to do it, not.

Fej.