Hallway wallflower
Tonight I was the 5th wheel again. I’m getting rather used to it actually. At first it was weird but I think all of the other couples find it more uncomfortable than I do. That’s because they knew my wife and had met her at social occasions before. We were married long enough that it’s odd not to see us together but I think they appreciate it too.
She was always the life of the party. I’m a wallflower. I’m actually like a hallway wallflower, where you only notice me if you are looking for the bathroom. She was the flashing neon sign blaring through the open window at night, or the bullhorn in the library, whatever you get the picture. She was always a bit over the edge so sometimes it wasn’t pretty. I don’t mean to say that people can’t be outgoing, enthusiastic, and not afraid to break the ice, but there are extremes to everything. And of course even when she wasn’t out of line, I was already digging a hole to hide in just in case.
My immediate boss is quitting and we wanted to take him out for dinner. Once it was established that spouses could go, my boss’s boss sent out an email confirming reservations for 12. I replied that it only need be 11. He felt really bad (he forgot about my situation) about it as if I would be offended. I’m glad to know he was concerned but it wasn’t necessary. I feel so much more comfortable in public and social situations without her. I’m not a complete introvert by any means, but I don’t worry as much as I used to. I have lots of stories but I’ll save them for later. Still, I couldn’t help feel like the odd man out. It went fine and I’ll miss working for this guy.
My wife is still in the hospital and she hasn’t been transferred to any long-term treatment program that I’m aware of. She has been admitted to this and similar facilities 5 or 6 times in the last year, but they are just long enough to get her through the tough part. Then she is back out, doing well for a couple weeks, but no real long-term progress has been made. They (doctors and nurses) won’t even talk to me for legal reasons, regardless of marital status. It’s unfortunate (although I understand how this could be misused in abusive relationships) where the one person who could potentially offer an objective perspective is shut out completely. Just another reason to dislike cowards, male or female, who take advantage of and abuse people.
Fej
She was always the life of the party. I’m a wallflower. I’m actually like a hallway wallflower, where you only notice me if you are looking for the bathroom. She was the flashing neon sign blaring through the open window at night, or the bullhorn in the library, whatever you get the picture. She was always a bit over the edge so sometimes it wasn’t pretty. I don’t mean to say that people can’t be outgoing, enthusiastic, and not afraid to break the ice, but there are extremes to everything. And of course even when she wasn’t out of line, I was already digging a hole to hide in just in case.
My immediate boss is quitting and we wanted to take him out for dinner. Once it was established that spouses could go, my boss’s boss sent out an email confirming reservations for 12. I replied that it only need be 11. He felt really bad (he forgot about my situation) about it as if I would be offended. I’m glad to know he was concerned but it wasn’t necessary. I feel so much more comfortable in public and social situations without her. I’m not a complete introvert by any means, but I don’t worry as much as I used to. I have lots of stories but I’ll save them for later. Still, I couldn’t help feel like the odd man out. It went fine and I’ll miss working for this guy.
My wife is still in the hospital and she hasn’t been transferred to any long-term treatment program that I’m aware of. She has been admitted to this and similar facilities 5 or 6 times in the last year, but they are just long enough to get her through the tough part. Then she is back out, doing well for a couple weeks, but no real long-term progress has been made. They (doctors and nurses) won’t even talk to me for legal reasons, regardless of marital status. It’s unfortunate (although I understand how this could be misused in abusive relationships) where the one person who could potentially offer an objective perspective is shut out completely. Just another reason to dislike cowards, male or female, who take advantage of and abuse people.
Fej
posted by Fej at 11:12 PM
1 Comments:
I admire you as an individual for being able to accept and attempt to help with your wife's sickness. It shows courage and caring on your part in a situation that could be seen as exasperating and frustrating after repeated admissions and treatments. My thoughts are with you and your children in this difficult time.
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