If I don't think of anything else before hand, I'll catch up with all of you after the holiday. We are off to Colorado again, everyone play safe.

It's that time of year, when I start filling up my hard drive with pictures of sunsets. 

Sink Issues

On Monday mornings, after not shaving the whole weekend, I like to use a razor to get a nice clean start to the week. From Tuesday on I’m a lazy ass and use an electric razor. Plus after two days without shaving the electric razor doesn’t cut, it “pulls” the hairs out.

I had noticed yesterday that my bathroom faucet wasn’t acting right. The hard water deposits must be blocking most of the flow. So I decided to clean out the screen real quickly. Sure enough, it was almost fully clogged with little calcium deposits. I started poking them out one by one. Then the little white thingy that goes inside the black thingy fell into the sink. No problem it was just sitting at the edge. I suppose if I had just grabbed tweezers as my initial instinct told me to do, I probably wouldn’t have to explain why I had to take my entire sink plumbing apart to grab not only the stupid white thingy but then also the drain plug part that also fell.

I cursed a lot. I also wonder where all that black nasty crap comes from, I sure as heck don’t put that stuff in my sink.

Then, I shaved and my water flow was just fabulous, a bit crooked, but I wasn’t about to take that stupid thing apart again.

I was late this morning. But clean shaven.



Jeff

Oops

Okay. I really need to return my dad’s propane weed torch attachment to him. I don’t have much in the way of weeds in my back yard but I set my fence on fire again. I may have to replace some fence planks this time as it burned them pretty good. You can see it from the neighbor’s side too. Then I scorched the side of my shed also. Whoops.

On the plus side I made some major headway in my back yard. I just need to get some rock put in and finish cleaning stuff up and it will look like a halfway decent yard. I filled in one of the “giantic” (as my younger kids called it) holes they dug finally too. I will have to leave one area of dirt for them to dig and play in though, they just love that of course.

I had to use a credit card to pay for my groceries this evening, as my check card wasn’t working. That seemed odd. I called to find out I had a whopping $2 available and then heard that a $750 ATM deposit was pending. WTF? My money is gone but someone is depositing money in my account. I called and confirmed it wasn’t my wife, her depositing money in my account would shock me more then someone fraudulently taking it out. Oh yeah. She lost her wallet. I forgot to call and cancel her card to our account. She loses her wallet every week or so and I was going to give it a few days before canceling it. This saves a lot of trouble with the bank normally but this time I guess she really did lose it.

When I got home I did confirm that someone withdrew my remaining cash at a gas station. I don’t know what to think of the ATM deposit but if it’s legitimate I could get used to that sort of fraudulent activity more often. I really don’t need any help emptying out my checking account, I can do that just fine on my own.

Jeff

Not Ready

I went to a memorial service today. I’ve been to enough to know what they are like but this one was a little different. This guy wasn’t ready to go. He wasn’t young per se but at 62 he certainly wasn’t ready to go. Person after person came up to say a few words or tell a story about this guy. The entire place was packed almost standing room only. He wasn’t a celebrity by any means. But the amount of people, the number of friends, it all made me wonder what the difference was.

As many of you may already know through similar experiences, if you depart this world before “your time” so to speak, you tend to have a lot more people in your life. It’s just another fact of life I guess. If you live to be older than 80 or so (as luck would have it most of my relatives’ fall into this category) it just so happens that you don’t have all that many people around or at least in close contact as you used to. A casualty of a long life might be that there are fewer people around who remember you and what you have contributed during your life.

This was a series of thoughts I hadn’t had the opportunity to entertain before. Not that I want to pass before I’m of a ripe old age just to have a few more people show up to my funeral but you don’t necessarily think of these things on a normal day. It takes an event like this to really bring these sorts of things to light.

In this case a sad event. I admit I laughed a lot during this service, this guy lived his life by the seat of his pants and was a great husband, father, and friend to many. Person after person from all walks of life stood up to tell a story that usually ended in laughter. At the end of the day though, he was still gone.

I tried to avoid making it to the reception, I’m just not good with this stuff. I still ended up going, to pick up more kids of course. I saw all the people I really didn’t want to see and didn’t know what to say to try and make things better. But I suppose there really isn't anything one can say, to really make things better.

Jeff

Ants in my Pants House

The ants will lose and I will win. My home has been infested and it’s a billion ants, my cats, my dog, and my kids all against me. My kids and animals do everything within their powers to keep the ants happy and well fed in our home. I know of some people who ban food from their living rooms and other areas of the house and keep all the eating in the kitchen. I think I’m going to ban eating in my house entirely. Let’s just get rid of all the food. I’ll save a lot of money and finally have extra cabinet space too.

Tonight I took evasive action, used lots of chemicals and cleaned places in my kitchen that I’m not sure have ever been cleaned. Not that it looks all that much better but I do know there will be fewer ants, in the kitchen anyway.

Did you know it is said that if you weighed all the ants in the world and all the humans, the total weight would be about the same? I’ll bet I have a few pounds worth in my yard.

Lovely topic tonight huh?

Jeff

Book Meme

I’ve been tagged to do a book Meme by the Diva.

1) Number of books I own.

Rough guess here but I’d say about 150 or so. If you add in the kids’ books this number could top 500 easy.

2) Last book I bought.

Angels and Demons, Dan Brown.

3) Last book I read.

His Excellency: George Washington, Joseph J. Ellis

4) Books that mean a lot to me.

Rise to Rebellion, Jeff Sharra

In Harms Way, Doug Stanton

Germs, Judith Miller

Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, C. S. Lewis

Green Eggs and Ham, duh.

5) Tag (at least) five more.

If you haven't done so already:
Christie
Evan
Suzanne
Trisha
Falafel Sex

I Just Don't Care

A good friend of mine was pining away about a silly documentation policy. He was real upset about it and went on to explain why it was a very inefficient way to do business and there was a much easier way. I couldn’t argue with any of his logic, he really made a lot of sense. Then he asked what I thought and “wouldn’t you be upset too?”

I thought for a moment and then very honestly replied that, “I just don’t care.”

I didn’t mean to take the wind out of his sail or to minimize his valid point, but I just don’t care anymore. I think I stopped caring about 5 months ago, right about the time I got my first interview notice for the job I didn’t get. Ever since then, I’ve known that it’s time for me to move on. Where, I don’t know. But I have no more doubts that I need to leave.



We picked up a few new women on our soccer team this year. Two of them are very pretty. So the one I found myself liking is not wearing a ring but then I don’t see any women players wearing “rocks” during a game. It’s probably like a rule. Like it matters, I still need to finish off my own marriage first I guess. Anyhow, we are walking to the parking lot after the game. I’m for lack of a better term “checking her out” and then something catches my eye off to my side. There is my son, head in the sand, pushing himself along in the sandbox as if his head were the wheel to a wheelbarrow. I quietly try to catch his attention but no luck. So, I have to yell at him to pull his head out of the sand. He wonders audibly as to why this would bother me and I really don’t have a response.

At any rate, she was laughing. I’m going to take that as a positive. Yes, she’s probably married and even if not she wouldn’t likely consider dating a single father of three wacko children but I can dream can’t I?

Jeff

Father's Day

I was feeling fine again by Saturday night. That didn’t stop me from sleeping in close to 10:00 AM though, maybe I still had a little of that bug left I guess. I was awoken to the squeals of “Happy Father’s Day!”

Thanks Nickelodeon for reminding my kids that it was Father’s Day last night. There was an add about the Father’s Day specials for Sunday and as I walked off I heard my youngest daughter exclaim, “Tomorrow’s Father’s Day??!!” Then they were all three off in a rush to round up a gift of some sort. My son was suspiciously quick and after I helped him use a paper clip to attach the note to the plastic grocery bag that my gift was wrapped in, he handed it right back to me.

I received a wooden object from my oldest daughter’s shop efforts, she had given this to me almost a month ago though. I got four Heath bars and a piece of Hubba Bubba Bubble gum from my middle daughter. (I won’t mention the fact that these are my Heath bars that I supposedly had stashed away.) And my son gave me a Nestle Crunch bar and Peep’s marshmallow bird thingies I suppose from Easter. He then must have realized the real value of that Nestle bar and shyly asked if he could have it back.

No problem, it was nice to know that they did all that on their own, no prompting, no hints, not even a warning that Father’s Day was just a couple days away.

I took matters into my own hands and went and picked up a new wheelbarrow for myself. That helped me make a couple runs to the dump today and sparked me to really get started on my backyard. I thanked the kids for it anyway.

Jeff

Down and Out

On Friday morning it felt like I had drank a little too much the night before. I hadn’t though, not at all. Maybe it was something I ate then that was throwing my system off. I thought about it a little more and after lunch, that I didn’t even feel like eating I finally admitted that I was sick. I obviously had caught whatever the heck my kids had last Tuesday. My body tends to kick into fever mode whenever something is awry and for the rest of the afternoon I was a waste of skin.

With the carrot of being able to swim in the pool the kids spent the afternoon cleaning their mom’s apartment. By the time I arrived, it was time for them to hit the pool. I sooo didn’t feel like hitting the pool. I dozed in the shade, since mom “was too tired” to take them, the sun was way too hot but I was borderline cold in the shade. Stupid fevers.

Anyhoo, I told the kids they would be on their own for the most part and I lay down on the couch. After about 15 hours of heavily interrupted sleep, I feel much better. Good thing, my nephew was at my door at 8:00 AM so I could watch him for the day.

We picked up two more hamsters to replace our recently deceased one and the kids are really happy with them. One is really nice, the other not so.

I have a farm uh I mean a house to clean so I’ll get back to you all later.


Jeff

Last Chance

I’m in trouble because of my grass. It’s not my fault this time though. The moron who inspected my property mentioned that if I weren’t in compliance by the specified date, I’d get a second letter of warning.

Don’t tell me that. A second letter? That just means I have more time. Well, I got my second letter. If I don’t remove about 700 sq. ft. of grass by July 15th, I can be fined $500 a day and or be imprisoned for up to 15 days. Here is what I think: the law says you can plant high water turf on 20% of your net lot (total lot size minus any non-porous surfaces, i.e. concrete, foundation etc.) At the time, I interpreted the clause as to be 20% of my total lot. Oops. So. I figure, I can just break up my driveway and replace it with gravel. Good idea?

Okay, I suppose that idea is just spawned from my utter contempt for some municipal tweed that thinks my crappy lawn actually qualifies as grass. It’s foliage for sure but that is a generous description. My only consolation for being unable to keep my grass alive has been that it’s in the backyard and no one can see it. Not only did someone see it, but also this particular person has the audacity to point out that I’m violating city ordinances and basic lawn maintenance techniques as well. Like pouring weed & feed in an open wound.

What a bunch of crap. Guess what I’ll be doing this weekend?

Jeff

Stay away from this stuff. 

The Trip

I survived in Las Vegas. I spent a lot of money, I drank a lot, and … uh, I know we must have done some other stuff too. I think.

First of all, these are all friends of mine, some of whom I’ve know since elementary school and with the exception of only one couple, they were all people I’ve known for at least 12 years or more. They’ve been to Vegas countless times before this occasion and I finally made it. These guys are very serious poker players and spent the majority of the time at the poker tables. I gave it a whirl but was ousted rather quickly due to the rather astounding luck of another guy at the table. That and I’ve decided I’m just not much of a gambler.

The atmosphere is alluring and difficult to resist. The thought of paying for your trip in winnings is tempting too and I was doing pretty well on Saturday night. It didn’t last but I wasn’t surprised, that’s kind of how things are supposed to go.

The bachelor party was a typical one. We all piled into a limo after ingesting a couple shots of Absinth, a drink from Europe that is illegal here, or so I found out after Googling it today. It’s supposed to have hallucinogenic properties, on top of the rest of the alcohol we drank I’m sure it helped, but nothing was “moving” that wasn’t supposed to. I’ve been to a few strip clubs in town, even in Vegas before but this experience was nothing like any of those. In town, you basically sit on your hands during a lap dance and let the dancer slide around and such. At this place it was a little different.

I was just waiting to be ripped from the couch by a bouncer and thrown painfully into the concrete outside. These girls grabbed my hands and put them into places I really didn’t expect to find my hands that night. Their hands were in places that uh, surprised me to put it mildly. I was shown certain areas that you normally don’t get to see and well in general I was just shocked. I’m just a man though, I was hardly appalled. I was very hesitant and conservative relatively speaking and despite the antics of everyone else, no one was thrown out.

But, I still know that these women just want your money. I’m not sure the rest of the guys had figured that out yet. The best part was when a well to do married friend of mine, used all of his cash, hit the ATM two additional times, and then borrowed and additional $40 from another guy to pay back a dancer. He gave her $20, and then asked for one more dance...

My most exciting story? Don’t hold your breath. I made it back to the “dudes” room rather late and sufficiently intoxicated to think that I had lost my phone. I wandered the Casino for the better part of an hour, talking to security, my friends, random strangers, never even able to find the security counter. I returned to the room, rather perturbed to find my phone right there on the table where I had left it.

That’s about it. It was a learning experience for me in a lot of other ways, like I’m not a gambler and have a better definition of the kind of woman I eventually hope to find, but I’ll save that stuff for later.

Now, I’ve spilled on my trip so that means the Diva has to tell us about hers, even if mine was boring.

Jeff

I'm Back.

I’m back, it’s really late, and we had a good time. No, it was not terribly wild, but not without a few good stories. I'll mention a few and post some pictures tomorrow... or I guess later today.


Jeff

Off to Vegas.

Whelp, I’m all packed and about to head off to the airport. Here starts my weekend of debauchery in Las Vegas. I’ll post pictures and tell stories so long as I’m not advised against doing so by an attorney.

Have a good weekend everyone, I’ll have a lot of catching up to do by then I’m sure.

Jeff

Privacy...Not in this house.

If nothing else, my kids will remember me for teaching them that privacy is a privilege, not a right. As they do to me on a daily basis, I just walked in on my oldest daughter pulling up her pants after using the bathroom. Just like me, she also forgot to close the door in my own bathroom! I leveled the situation though by reminding her of the fact that I changed her diapers for the first two years of her life.

She ran out with a red face but laughing.

Jeff

I liked this, so I took a picture. 

Just another day.

After dragging three sleepy and weepy kids out of bed I drove them to their mom’s for the day. I went to work. I had plenty to do, but none of which I actually wanted to work on. This little issue is only getting worse.

For lunch, I ate what I left in the fridge at work on Friday, I’m just glad I remembered it was there. I then went to the bank, got gas at Costco and then drove 52 miles round-trip to check on my friend’s fish. He is out of town and asked me to watch his house until Thursday. Then, I went back to work.

I was supposed to have my first outdoor soccer game of the summer season tonight, but it was my niece’s birthday party. There was going to be plenty of people around so I planned on cutting out early. My dad was with my grandfather at the hospital though, I guess he has had a setback of some sort. He’s only 91. My mom and sister are terrified of operating a grill so I stuck around to cook up the feast. It all went fine.

My wife had apparently given my younger daughter permission to go to a sleep over so I drove her over there after the party. My nephew somehow ended up with us and will stay the night. He joined in the crying session they all had as we had a rather solemn but teary burial of the hamster.

Warning to parents: For those of you who haven’t, don’t pick up a rather evil hamster, befriend it and tame it, and then let it or rather let your children become totally attached to it. Because then it will slowly die, right in front of their sad little eyes. Yes, last night was just a riot.


On a lighter note: I approached my dad and my son some distance from the cabin this weekend, my son had been calling for help. There stood my son, unharmed, way cute in that little helmet, but looking rather mischievous. My dad was questioning him on just how the ATV made it over the rather large log and then into the tree that he had just pulled it out from under. My son had no real believable explanation but after the interrogation, we were unable to rule out excessive speed. Despite my having just increased the throttle limiter screw. Then, after my Dad tells me he also pulled my son out of the tree, he looks at me and says with a really proud smile, “Dad. I flew!”

Fej

We're back anyway.

I wish I could say I picked up a 4-wheeler and made it to the cabin without any stress, but I would so be lying my ass off. There was stress. Lot’s of it.

First, I researched kids size ATV’s extensively last week. Looked at a few on Thursday evening and had decided on one by Friday at lunch. That turned into a two-hour + lunch because you apparently can’t just pick out a bike and buy it. No. It’s like buying a car only worse. You get to waste several hours of your life over a kid’s toy, which they pump off a production line like popcorn, haggling over the price. This is ludicrous. This is a damn commodity, you shouldn’t have to bargain over a commodity, and if I offend anyone, sorry but this is just stupid. If you make you living off of this stupid crap, prepare to get a new job if I ever get as rich as Bill Gates because I will put an end to this B.S. deep breaths…

Then, my wife decides to go up this weekend also. She has a lifetime pass to the cabin because of my grandfather. This is fine with me but I just try to make it up at different times than her. She spent a lot of time with him after my grandmother died and he is forever grateful to her for that time. I have no issue with this at all. Unless she tries jumping into bed with me during the middle of the night. That did not go well and I hope that this experience helps her to realize that we are over.

Tonight was fine, up until a little while ago. Our hamster has a problem. It looks really bad and the kids are really sad. The vet doesn’t have an exotic animal doctor in tonight so I might be taking her in tomorrow.

Despite it all, the weekend was okay. The kids loved the ATV, especially my son, who has already learned to do donuts and wiped out a couple times. Yes, I did increase the throttle limiter, but he just got more creative. He’s only six.

Fej

Update: The hamster died just before the kids were supposed to go to sleep. It was teary night for all of them and a late one for me.

Gone Again

Damn. This week flew by. I did get to have some unprecedented “me” time, which I then proceeded to completely waste away. That’s okay, it was still nice. Tomorrow, I have to put in a full day of work, find and purchase a 4-wheeler, get my Dad a Father’s Day present, and get out of town by 4:00 PM or so. Not to mention, I need to pack a clean pair of underwear and a toothbrush for the weekend. Oh yeah, I should get some gas too.

I’ll get back to you all on Monday or so. Only four days at that point until Vegas... I’m not prepared for that trip, all. Also, I have to care for a friend's house who lives an hour out of town those four days too. That means another 2 hours or so a day of driving. Like I don’t drive enough already. Egad, this week went by so fast.

Fej

And here is the current status of my once lovely willow tree. I have so much work to do in my yard... 

Yesterday. 

Just a few years ago. 

Uncle Fej

Toys moved. Markers were used. I had to make dinner for people other than myself and my cats. I’m missing a remote. My kids still aren’t here. What happened you ask? I’ll tell you this, if my sister wasn’t such a good sister and hadn’t helped me out a million times before, I would have never agreed to watch her kids tonight. Sigh

I played lumberjack a bit more tonight too. I chopped down and pulled the stump of a once beautiful willow tree in my backyard. It was a fabulous tree, the branches were so thick and hung so low a person could easily hide inside. Then. It died. I thought I killed it with weed and feed but I’ve since learned it was those stupid grubs that also destroyed my lawn. That I’m probably going to get fined for since I haven’t removed any surpluss grass from my yard yet. And I’m out of town for the next two weekends.

My grandfather tasked me with picking up a new motorcycle or four-wheeler for the kids to use at the cabin. I need to do this by Friday afternoon as my dad and I are heading back up to Colorado this weekend. What was supposed to be six days to myself (well I still had to go to work), turned into four, and then three minus tonight. Which leaves just tomorrow night left. Oh well, I'm off to Vegas the weekend after, I can live vicariously through myself then possibly.

Fej