Vacation

Tomorrow we take off to Nova Scotia. The kids are more ready than I am. I of course am plagued by the worries that I leave behind and the ones I am sure to encounter. Financially, I’m not secure; I really needed to sell my Jeep before I left. That did not happen but I hope we’ll somehow manage. I think it will all work out, but it would be nice to take a vacation one day and not worry about all the crap that you aren’t supposed to worry about while on vacation.

My wife (soon to be ex) is having mixed feelings about not going. She initially said she wanted to go, but because of money reasons I didn’t buy a ticket for her right away. I had good reason to figure she might not go anyway. Then when I finally did offer to get her a ticket she decided not to go. To explain this in depth would not be appropriate here, that will take much more time. It’s been long enough since we separated that the kids don’t really question it much. I’m torn whether or not I want her to come along. She would be a lot of help with organizing and remembering my relative’s names, I really suck at that. Then again, the discomforts, embarrassment, and awkwardness that would plague us both would really detract from the trip. It’s probably best this way, but it still feels really weird. The last thing I want to do is to get back together with her. Divorce is not what I want, but it’s the only solution that I can see.

Anyway, I’ll be going 7 days or so without Internet or email. That will be difficult. For those of you who actually read up on what I am writing, thank you. I’ll be back at it in a week or so.