What if?
Would a woman in my life really help anything?
Just how would butterflies in my stomach and daydreams all day help me stay focused? I don’t have time for my job, I just need the money. I barely get everything done that I need to as it is already. I’m with my kids an average of 6.75 days a week so nights out alone are rare to say the least. My “free time” is spent cleaning and maintaining my house, cars, yard, and any optimistic observer would question whether that even happens at all.
I’m still legally married. I’m sure I’ll be paying off debt for the rest of my life. Even once the divorce is final (which I took a few important steps on today…) I’ll forever have her in my life and herd of nutty ex-in-laws too. Plus she’ll have more legal power to make my life miserable after we are divorced than she does now. One reason why I am taking these final steps towards a finalized divorce ever so carefully.
Then I’ll be a single father with children who gets out once a month. And I’ve already realized I likely won’t find who I’m looking for at a bar. So maybe this whole going back to school thing could be an even better idea?
So, back to where I started. What if I do meet a woman? That I like, and she likes me, and is okay with all the above crap, and can put up with my wacko life? Hmm. I suppose if she can handle all that then I’ve answered my own question.
Jeff
Just how would butterflies in my stomach and daydreams all day help me stay focused? I don’t have time for my job, I just need the money. I barely get everything done that I need to as it is already. I’m with my kids an average of 6.75 days a week so nights out alone are rare to say the least. My “free time” is spent cleaning and maintaining my house, cars, yard, and any optimistic observer would question whether that even happens at all.
I’m still legally married. I’m sure I’ll be paying off debt for the rest of my life. Even once the divorce is final (which I took a few important steps on today…) I’ll forever have her in my life and herd of nutty ex-in-laws too. Plus she’ll have more legal power to make my life miserable after we are divorced than she does now. One reason why I am taking these final steps towards a finalized divorce ever so carefully.
Then I’ll be a single father with children who gets out once a month. And I’ve already realized I likely won’t find who I’m looking for at a bar. So maybe this whole going back to school thing could be an even better idea?
So, back to where I started. What if I do meet a woman? That I like, and she likes me, and is okay with all the above crap, and can put up with my wacko life? Hmm. I suppose if she can handle all that then I’ve answered my own question.
Jeff
posted by Fej at 10:17 PM
12 Comments:
go back to school. you can't go wrong-- you will have more adult conversations & mental stimulation, and will help you have a defined start on the rest of your life.
I hear you on the issue of "how is finding and building a relationship even possible" question. I wonder that about my own life.
Hey, there's always match.com. As I've proven, it'll give you good blog material if nothing else.
Maybe you'll meet someone through your blog! :-)
Jeff, I feel your pain/confusion. This is what I'm up against as well. Although I only have my son at home now, he is at that "too old for a babysitter, too young to leave at night" age. Not exactly a good formula for dating.
Aside from the fact that I don't have the energy for starting from square one with someone... I'd be more inclined to have a romantic relationship with someone who's known me for years.
Good luck with school, though... it IS possible to meet someone there!
yep, you sure answered your own question... just concentrate on getting your own life and your own act together and the right things will happen at the right time in the right way... trust me ;-)
The right person won't care if you have *6* kids, or care about all the other stuff. You'll see.
Maybe you'll meet the perfect woman and she'll have 3 children. It's so very Brady (not a bad thing, in my opinion). Really, though, you'll know it when it hits you, and you'll both get through it together. (although it used to kill me when people used to tell me that - but it's true.)
I ask myself those same questions every day. I'm not sure there are any real answers though. I think like the rest of life, meeting the one for you just sorta happens.
Good luck, babe.
-K.
If and when you are ready I hope that a special woman comes along. As we mature it is certain that those we find will have baggage whether it be emotional, physical (kids and stuff), etc. The right woman for you will understand and willingly accept you as a package deal.
The right woman will accept all the baggage you can bring. It just happens when it's supposed to.
I can't wait to hear about your steps toward the D. Hoping you're well.
XOXO
C
cmhl, I definitely look forward to and hope that this is the case.
Abby, I'm on Match.com... it is of nothing else but blogging material though. As you said.
Safiyyah, That could happen too!
Panthergirl, I soooo don't look forward to starting over. The whole relationship thing is going to be a trial at least with me. But yet, I need to do this...
Plain Jane, I also understand, it won't be easy, probably messy but it's all I've got.
Trisha, You rock you know...
Bart, despite all of my uncertainty, I feel more certain about what I want and need than I ever had.
Ruth, who told you I had six kids?! I don't really, but I see your point but that means I have to look harder to find her. See, my schedule hardly allows for any outside contact as it is, I'm worried about that.
Diva, Well, I have the automobile to support that sort of relationship but I'm not sure that is really what matters.
I could I suppose but I'm not necessarily shooting for the Brady thing.
Kat, I agree. I figure she'll show up at the wrong time but it will be soooo right.
Mama Duck, I have baggage as you know. But, I don't think it will hurt me, in fact it may help me to more clearly understand my opportunities vs. my options.
C, I know it will eventually happen. The divorce is a crucial step too. I've called a few lawyers, it's just getting them to call me back. I don't have a typical or rather profitable situation so they will take their time I'm sure.
OMG~ this rings so true for me as well. Plus, the 'burque isn't quite the mecca for fabulous and interesting people (aside from the two of us, it seems!)
I wish you the best of luck!
mg
Post a Comment
<< Home