Sick Kids, Cookies, and Reality.
My oldest woke up this morning complaining of her stomach hurting and not feeling well. I’m quite familiar with her typical “I don’t want to go to school” routine but she rarely pushes it and claims she is sick with any real conviction. I did a three kid fever test and concluded that indeed, the oldest of my three had a warmer forehead than the other two.
I need to buy a stinking thermometer.
Anyhow, I took her to my mom’s instead of school and literally had to pull up to the little one’s school and toss them out. I was late for jury duty but luckily they weren’t lined up waiting for me.
I asked my mom to make cookies for my jury panel and she obliged that day. Yes, I do have the best mom in the world. I think my panel realizes this too, the cookies are damn good. I thought about claiming that I made them myself but I think they already know me well enough that no one would have believed me anyway.
I’ve only had the, “No, my wife and I are going through a divorce.” talk with about three of the other jurors so far. And each time, despite my efforts to ease the shock, I’ve left them standing there with “deer in the headlights” look. How could someone so young, with three kids, be going through a divorce? Hey, you brought it up, I just didn’t want to lie to you.
I hate this part. The story is so long and complicated that I kind of wish I could just lie to them. Tell them I’m happily married, the kids are fine, and some day maybe my wife will go back to work again. I just can’t though. As much as I hate to make people feel awkward about “assuming” certain things, sometimes it just can’t be avoided.
I hid for way too long, from myself and those I love... and loved. I will not hide from anyone anymore, no matter who asks and for whatever reason, well I’ll try really hard anyway.
Fej
I need to buy a stinking thermometer.
Anyhow, I took her to my mom’s instead of school and literally had to pull up to the little one’s school and toss them out. I was late for jury duty but luckily they weren’t lined up waiting for me.
I asked my mom to make cookies for my jury panel and she obliged that day. Yes, I do have the best mom in the world. I think my panel realizes this too, the cookies are damn good. I thought about claiming that I made them myself but I think they already know me well enough that no one would have believed me anyway.
I’ve only had the, “No, my wife and I are going through a divorce.” talk with about three of the other jurors so far. And each time, despite my efforts to ease the shock, I’ve left them standing there with “deer in the headlights” look. How could someone so young, with three kids, be going through a divorce? Hey, you brought it up, I just didn’t want to lie to you.
I hate this part. The story is so long and complicated that I kind of wish I could just lie to them. Tell them I’m happily married, the kids are fine, and some day maybe my wife will go back to work again. I just can’t though. As much as I hate to make people feel awkward about “assuming” certain things, sometimes it just can’t be avoided.
I hid for way too long, from myself and those I love... and loved. I will not hide from anyone anymore, no matter who asks and for whatever reason, well I’ll try really hard anyway.
Fej
posted by Fej at 8:02 PM
5 Comments:
It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of - you are doing it for the right reasons.
ach - s'no big deal sweets, just shows that you are an intrinsically honest type.
What a rare and wonderful creature you are *kiss*
It's possible you are getting that look because of the overwhelming work load you do everyday. I often get the same look followed by "How do you do it all?" Of course the organization helps as well as sheer adrenalin. Don't take it that they are seeing it as something bad but as a compliment.
1) You just inspired me to go make cookies before I go pick up the kids
2) I know that look you are talking about that people have...I used to get it too when I was going through a divorce and I didn't even have the boys back then...I also get it when people now hear all I am going through with Nethan and being single mom..so I think it is a mixture of what brokenangel so eloquently wrote... I know it is also part of the reason I dread dating again... Just wait till you start dating (if you ever do and you should as you are a total hunk)but anyway it is even worse when you have to tell about your story over and over again because you have more life history ...well then again maybe you will find someone more quickly than I!!! I secretly hope someday I will just meet a man who has read my blog and then meets me and so by then pretty much everything is done and told...Well... I can hope!
3) Jeff-your blogging just has grown so tremendously over the time since you found me or I found you...Really fantastic to see you sharing your ..Fantastic job..keep it up.
When I was going through my divorce, I worked two jobs and was stressed out all the time. Men who would ask acted as if they could't believe I was actually divorced; they'd give me this odd look and I never quite understood it--or why.
Then when they asked me out and I turned them down they would take it personally and become angry about it. I just wasn't ready to date anybody. I got used to saying, "Don't take this personally--it has nothing to do with you--I'm just not dating right now." And then I'd find myself explaining because they'd ask why I wasn't dating or didn't want to go out.
*sigh*
After awhile I learned to hide. ;)
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