Marriage
What I miss about being married, not necessarily in order of importance: (I know I am still married technically, but after a year and half of being apart it sure feels like I’m not.)
1. I miss having help. I started off on the wrong topic because she never helped. I suppose I’m being a bit too harsh here, she rarely helped. Help can be dished out in a variety of ways: meals, vacuuming, taking care of the kids, a kind word, etc. Any of those were rare occurrences from her. Just having another person around was sometimes helpful though.
2. Companionship. I miss this a lot. I was contacted by Nielson TV ratings to do a survey. They pay you $10 to write down every single thing you watch for a week. Nickelodean, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, done. I haven’t watched a non-kid movie since my last flight back from China. The movie before that was on the way to China, do you catch the trend here? It’s more than watching TV, when the kids are in bed its just me and ... well you’re reading it.
3. A friend. It would be wrong to say we were the best of friends because then it’s not likely we would be apart. I was always holding back and never truly happy whether I realized it or not. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to about whatever you needed to talk about.
4. A family. It just doesn’t feel like the same kind of family anymore.
5. A partner. There are the obvious reasons of course, it’s been a year and a half and I well ... it’s been a long damn time OK?!
That’s all I can think of now. I want a friend, a lover, a person to complete this family, but I know it isn’t her.
Fej.
1. I miss having help. I started off on the wrong topic because she never helped. I suppose I’m being a bit too harsh here, she rarely helped. Help can be dished out in a variety of ways: meals, vacuuming, taking care of the kids, a kind word, etc. Any of those were rare occurrences from her. Just having another person around was sometimes helpful though.
2. Companionship. I miss this a lot. I was contacted by Nielson TV ratings to do a survey. They pay you $10 to write down every single thing you watch for a week. Nickelodean, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, done. I haven’t watched a non-kid movie since my last flight back from China. The movie before that was on the way to China, do you catch the trend here? It’s more than watching TV, when the kids are in bed its just me and ... well you’re reading it.
3. A friend. It would be wrong to say we were the best of friends because then it’s not likely we would be apart. I was always holding back and never truly happy whether I realized it or not. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to about whatever you needed to talk about.
4. A family. It just doesn’t feel like the same kind of family anymore.
5. A partner. There are the obvious reasons of course, it’s been a year and a half and I well ... it’s been a long damn time OK?!
That’s all I can think of now. I want a friend, a lover, a person to complete this family, but I know it isn’t her.
Fej.
posted by Fej at 10:41 PM
2 Comments:
My marriage was less than ideal also. It's the feeling of being wanted by someone that I miss the most. The companionship and the presence of someone there. After the kids are in bed time, or when the kids are with their dad/mom time is when it is bad for me. That as hard as you work and play there is someone to come home to. Being separated and divorced has been a very lonely experience. However, I have never felt as lonely as I did when I was married and waiting for my husband to want to spend time with me.
I can understand and sympathize with you 100%.
Wow, I have to give you thumbs up for raising kids, working and still breathing all by yourself. That's a big job for two people let alone one.
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