Marital Update:
Since my wife’s last roommate (the girl) left she has since picked up another. She can’t be alone, just can’t. Anyhow this lady is different. The first morning I met her while picking up the kids to take them to school. She had my wife out of bed, dressed and was loudly harassing someone else on the phone whom which she was also forcing out to walk that morning. She has the apartment in excellent condition. She has threatened my wife with her own life if she gets another traffic citation or fails to show for the current court date. I think she’s serious too.
She’s a big lady, not one that I’d want to mess with and she seems to have pretty good priority set. She is also supposed to pay half the rent and utilities…clunk… sorry I fell out of my chair. I just hope it lasts a few weeks, I’m too scared of jinxing things to hope for longer though.
Anyhoo, on to this evening. My wife motioned to me this that we needed to talk privately. I hoped it was something simple, it wasn’t. We talked for close to an hour, the kids constantly disturbing us of course, but this was inevitable. To make a long story short, she thinks there is still a chance, I don’t. She took it very well all things considered. It was an adult conversation, emotions didn’t drive the conversation and I didn’t fold. I couldn’t though, because as hard as it is to break this family apart, I need to do it. I’d be lying to everyone if I did anything else.
Supposedly she can have a lawyer do up the paperwork for less than $50, it’s an uncontested divorce obviously. I think we both believe that making it official will help. This limbo period might be making things worse.
If he keeps it up, my son will soon be a regular contributor at the end of my more somber entries:
Son – “My teacher called me a motor-mouth.” (Proudly spoken)
Sister – “If your teacher calls you a motor-mouth it means you’re a bad kid.”
Son – “No, it just means that I’m a fast talker because I like to talk a lot and my teacher only said it because I talk a lot and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad kid it’s, it’s because it’s like my mouth is a motor cause it can like keep going and going and that’s why she said it, not because I’m a bad kid.”
Sister 2 – “No, it means you’re a bad kid.” But we’re all laughing anyway at this point, I don’t think he cared.
Fej
She’s a big lady, not one that I’d want to mess with and she seems to have pretty good priority set. She is also supposed to pay half the rent and utilities…clunk… sorry I fell out of my chair. I just hope it lasts a few weeks, I’m too scared of jinxing things to hope for longer though.
Anyhoo, on to this evening. My wife motioned to me this that we needed to talk privately. I hoped it was something simple, it wasn’t. We talked for close to an hour, the kids constantly disturbing us of course, but this was inevitable. To make a long story short, she thinks there is still a chance, I don’t. She took it very well all things considered. It was an adult conversation, emotions didn’t drive the conversation and I didn’t fold. I couldn’t though, because as hard as it is to break this family apart, I need to do it. I’d be lying to everyone if I did anything else.
Supposedly she can have a lawyer do up the paperwork for less than $50, it’s an uncontested divorce obviously. I think we both believe that making it official will help. This limbo period might be making things worse.
If he keeps it up, my son will soon be a regular contributor at the end of my more somber entries:
Son – “My teacher called me a motor-mouth.” (Proudly spoken)
Sister – “If your teacher calls you a motor-mouth it means you’re a bad kid.”
Son – “No, it just means that I’m a fast talker because I like to talk a lot and my teacher only said it because I talk a lot and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad kid it’s, it’s because it’s like my mouth is a motor cause it can like keep going and going and that’s why she said it, not because I’m a bad kid.”
Sister 2 – “No, it means you’re a bad kid.” But we’re all laughing anyway at this point, I don’t think he cared.
Fej
posted by Fej at 8:27 PM
7 Comments:
On the marital stuff.. wow! That conversation sounds like a major step! And the kid stuff is great. Love it.
I hope you're ok and hanging in there. Just keep working on that list. Another thing, ummm, do you think it's wise to trust the wife with finding the Lawyer. Just a thought.
C
I'm sorry. Be prepared. If it's the right thing for you, it is. But believe me when I tell you that there is nothing but crud involved when you divorce and you have children. I send positive vibes that all things go well for you all. :)
Oh...and thoughtsgalore is right...be careful trusting your ex for the lawyer.
It was a talk that needed to be had. I'm not terribly concerned about who picks the lawyer at this point, things could go sour but we do have a rather exceptional working relationship and understanding of how we'll work it out with the kids.
Then again, everything could go to crap, hope not.
Painful but necessary stuff I guess. I don't envy you Jeff but good to read you're both still trying to be adult about it at the moment.
Focus on the kids, they're important for you both and do what's best for them in the end. Just don't let yourself get trampled on in the meantime.
Sounds like your wife is could be getting her act together Fej - that's good news.
Glad to hear that conversation went well.
One word of caution: When I divorced my first husband, we were in agreement about everything. We split what we owned together, we agreed on joint custody. Instead of a lawyer, we got a mediator and everything was hunky-dory and inexpensive.
Fast forward 6 years, when he decides he's going to move 100 miles away, and although we will no longer be able to have joint custody, still doesn't want to pay child support. We had to hire lawyers then, and there were a LOT of flaws with the original agreement.
All I'm saying is...make sure that your agreement takes into account the possibility that you may not be on such great terms in the future. Sometimes, a person comes into the picture who puts crazy ideas in someone's head...and boom. You're up shit's creek.
Good luck with all of that, Jeff. And the job stuff too. I'm just getting caught up here...sounds like a lot of stress for you right now.
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